An 82-Year-Old Florida Man Was Arrested For Slashing Tires Over A Bingo Dispute

Don’t come between an old man and his bingo game. That’s the lesson residents in Lake Wales, Florida have learned this past week after police arrested 82-year-old Fred Smith for slashing the van tires of 88-year-old Ethel Britt — all because she had taken his favorite bingo seat.

“I didn’t think anyone would be low enough to do that to my car because I didn’t know I had any enemies in my life,” Britt told Fox 13. “I thought everybody was my friend, but undoubtedly I have one enemy.”

Police authorities arrested Smith and charged him with criminal mischief to a vehicle. They say he’s admitted to his crimes and is ashamed of what he did, as one should after throwing a tantrum over a bingo seat. (I’ve seen my grandma get into it over losing a “jackpot” bingo game (AKA, like $15), but not over a bingo seat!) According to Fox 13:

“It’s quite frankly a childish-type crime,” offered Lake Wales Deputy Chief Troy Schulze. “The man admitted to it when the officer told him what he was there to investigate. He was apologetic. He said he was embarrassed. He regretted doing it, but he took ownership of it and said that even in the embarrassment he had to face consequences.”

Among the consequences: a potential $500 fine, and having to go on living on this earth knowing you punctured someone’s tires over. a. bingo. seat. Amazingly enough, Britt harbors no ill will toward Smith. All she wants are new tires, bless her. “I’m not mad, no. I would like to have my tires paid for because that took every dime I had in the bank,” she said. Where’s the Kickstarter for poor old Ethel?

(Via Fox 13)