Donald Trump didn’t dye any eggs this Easter, but he did take part of what seems to become his own holiday tradition: Wishing peace and prosperity to the world—including “the Radical Left Maniacs who are doing everything possible to destroy our Country” and “failed gubernatorial candidate and racist Attorney General Letitia James.” (These well-wishes came over the span of three separate press releases.)
The former president was spotted all around his Mar-a-Lago golf club over the weekend, hitting the links and waving to his guests at brunch like some sort of Buddha-sized deity. One place he most definitely wasn’t spotted, according to People, was at church. And no, it’s not because he might combust upon entering, but—according to a Trump insider—because “He is no longer president, so he doesn’t have to go to church.”
While Trump has made a habit of trying to paint himself as a loyal churchgoer, numerous missteps have indicated otherwise—most notably, the time he tear-gassed a bunch of peaceful protestors in order to take a picture outside the historic St. John’s Church, just steps from the White House, but didn’t even bother to step inside.
In 2015, while campaigning to become president, Trump was asked about whether he even attended church, to which he replied yes and even stated that “I am Presbyterian Protestant. I go to Marble Collegiate Church.” When asked to confirm this statement, however, the church only stated what most of us already suspected: that the wannabe president was not “an active member.”
If Trump plans to make good on his promises/threats to run for president yet again in 2024, one would think he’d want to keep up appearances. But one political insider is doubtful that Trump’s name will actually appear on the ticket. “Donald is making all of the moves as if he were going to run, but my bet is that he won’t,” the source said. “In the meantime, he loves the adulation and fundraising needed with a potential run. Donald is involved with everything the GOPs are doing—he is a non-royal king.”
The source then added what might be the most terrifying eight words ever uttered in the history of language: “Who knows—maybe Don Jr. will run instead.”
“He is itching for it,” the source noted, “and the name recognition is enough.”
Representatives for Trump did not respond to People’s request for comment.