Of all the embarrassing things Donald Trump has done in his life—both before his time as president, certainly during, and now after—who would’ve thought that an innocuous press release about a game of golf would top the list? Then again, who would have predicted that Will Smith would attack Chris Rock in the midst of a live Oscars broadcast? But here we are on both counts.
On Monday evening, the former president actually took the time to prepare and issue an official press release—posted on his personal letterhead and titled “Statement by Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States of America,” about hitting a hole-in-one while golfing. And yes, he included a video, which basically showed him wandering around the hole in his ill-fitting golf ensemble and high-fiving anyone within a 100-foot radius. Sort of like a toddler who’s being potty-trained likes to show anyone who agrees to look into the toilet at the poo-poo he did in there. But we never actually got to see the shot in question. Hmmmm….
They posted video of Trump’s “hole-in-one” at his own golf tournament this weekend (that he “won”). Curiously, we don’t get to see the shot. pic.twitter.com/wncJEgAxFI
— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@RonFilipkowski) March 28, 2022
For Trump to celebrate his athletic achievement via a post to Twitter would be one thing. Of course, the former POTUS has been permanently banned from all mainstream social media sites—and no longer seems to give a sh*t about TRUTH Social, the site he created and has since all but abandoned. So instead, he had his spokesperson issue an official statement on the matter, which is as tone-deaf and childish as it is mortifying for all of us, as a country. Particularly the first line: “Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100% true… I made a hole-in-one.”
You can read the full statement for yourself below, then find the nearest blanket and hide under it because of the shame you feel that this man was once the president of this country.