We’ve met the dumbest college girl ever who cost her family $80,000 thanks to a Facebook brag — now meet 22-year-old Colleen Cudney of Westland, Michigan, whose Facebook brag could actually land her ass in jail. Cudney received probation after a DUI conviction in 2012 which clearly states that she’s not allowed to consume any alcohol. When she was called in to take a random breathalyzer the morning after St. Patrick’s Day, she passed — but then brilliantly took to Facebook to brag about her achievement. I’m pretty certain that your brain doesn’t fully set until you hit twenty-five.
Investigators say she posted this: “Buzz killer for me, I had to breathalyze (sic) this morning and I drank yesterday but I passed thank god lol my dumba@@.”
A Westland police officer saw her post that morning and notified the probation office. When a probation officer called Cudney to return to the office for an urine test, she hung up the phone.
Probation officials say that was a violation of her probation. It was set to end in a few weeks. A urine test would have detected if Cudney had anything to drink in the 80 hours prior to taking it, probation officials said.
This is the future of our country, ladies and gentlemen: YOLO! The only way this story could improve comedically at this point is if she took the urine test and found out she was pregnant with a St. Paddy’s Dumpster Sex baby. Dumber things have happened!