Five Things You Shouldn't Do On Social Media On April Fool's Day

Tomorrow is April Fool’s Day. Once a pleasant and happy day full of goofy newspaper articles and maybe the occasional whoopie cushion, social media has turned it into a world-spanning 24-hour crappy open mic night. So, if you’re going to play a prank on social media, for the love of God, don’t do any of the following.

Don’t Announce You’re Pregnant, Even If You Really Are Pregnant

Tomorrow is the worst day of the year to announce an actual pregnancy, because every uncreative, dimwitted couple on your Wall will be announcing the same thing. The only time I’ve ever seen this gag work was when an entire family was in on it, and the “pregnancy” announcement was just the start of a very long, elaborate bit that unfolded throughout the entire day. By the end of it, the “father” had narrowly escaped to Canada and the “mother’s” family had posted an event they invited everyone to for hunting him down.

Don’t Encourage Bullies

April Fool’s Day has always been a day that brings out the total jackass in some people, and social media has just made that worse. Crushing some poor sucker’s hopes and dreams just isn’t funny, and encouraging the jerk who inevitably posts a video of somebody doing this is even worse. If you need a yardstick for something being awful instead of funny, people breaking down crying is a good one.

Unless it’s children. The tears of children are always hilarious.

Don’t Assume Your Friends Are Idiots

Sure, right, we’ll click the link leading to a site where you have to squint closely at the image to see the “hidden secret.” Because we’re all in high school, and we all have IQs of thirty or lower. It’s not a prank if we can see it coming, and will post Goatse on your Wall for your trouble. Speaking of which…

Don’t Use A Rickroll or Goatse

Again, this is less a matter of taste, albeit Goatse is eternally tasteless, and more about creativity. If you’re going to trick people into watching something terrible, there are endless options for that. Really, just punch in “10 hours” into YouTube: You’ll have plenty of options. Just don’t crib from Paul Rudd.

Don’t Half-Ass It

This is probably the most annoying thing: People just write an obviously fake status and post it. Back it up: Choose a link for your claim that seems credible, for example, or spend a few minutes with Photoshop to create a convincing picture. Remember, nobody likes anything half-assed, so if you have to go, go full-assed this April Fool’s Day. Or wear assless chaps. It’s what I do.