If you spent any time on social media on Independence Day, you may have heard rumblings about a Second Civil War between posts about your drunk uncle’s new GoFundMe page for his emergency room bill after a fireworks-related injury and posts with blurry photoshops of a Minion wearing camouflage and punching the Eiffel Tower or whatever other nonsense that people of questionable sanity were talking about. Speaking of nonsense that people of questionable sanity are talking about, Alex Jones took a break from shirtlessly calling the grieving parents of murdered six and seven year olds “crisis actors” to put forward another dumb and potentially violence-inciting conspiracy theory.
Jones claimed liberals, the media, and the deep state were teaming up to start a civil war (and not the fun kind) on July 4th. So how’d that go? Two words: womp womp. So we didn’t have a second civil war, but sarcastic people on the internet did have fun speculating about how that would go.
Potential combatants bided their time on Twitter by writing letters home in the style of highfalutin Civil War letters in a Ken Burns documentary, often hashtagging their work with #SecondCivilWarLetters:
Others were still making their last minute preparations, or perhaps drafting their excuses:
But some people were so over it: