The Cabbage Patch Kids madness of the 1980s inspired a much better trend, the Garbage Pail Kid series. These trading cards were gleefully grotesque and featured characters like Adam Bomb, Armpitt Britt, Clogged Duane, Bony Tony, and Barfin’ Barbara. If you’ve ever wondered what happened to these sad souls, there’s now an answer.
Old friends Jake Houvenagle (an art director) and Brandon Voges (a photographer) met up for lunch one day and discussed the disgusting series (as one does). They decided to re-imagine the cards as a new “Adult Variant Series,” which illustrates the Garbage Pail Kids thirty years later. The results aren’t pretty, but they are glorious. On his blog, Voges describes what happened to poor Adam Bomb:
“As a small child, Adam had no idea how much of an impact pressing that button would have on his life (and everyone else’s). He’s had to live with that horrible, juvenile decision for his entire life, in this wasteland that he created. He lost everyone and everything, and was the only one that survived the destruction. It’s been the source of major depression throughout his life (and his head). Although that dented head has healed, his heart has remained a wasteland.”
Not to mention what happened to Bony Tony, who’s now a male stripper:
“Tony did pretty well with the ladies in high school. They always wanted to get ‘under his skin,’ curious what would be hiding under that zipper. In college, Tony partied hard, eventually dropped out, never to return. He was good with his hands, but unable to hold down a construction gig or any of the local assembly line jobs because of the safety concerns related to his loose skin. Tony decided he had a real gift, and took it to the stage. He has been headlining a low end Chippendales knock off in old town Vegas for the last 14 years.”
Tony sounds like he’s carved out a lucrative existence. Unlike Armpit Britt, who lived a life of juvenile delinquency and now works at a local truck stop. She’s still got those infamous armpit dreads, and Barfin’ Barbra is still barfing.
Houvenagle and Voges also uploaded a video showing their process and the work it took to recreate these memorable characters into their modern versions:
It’s some nice work. You can see the rest of the Adult Variant Series (with a content warning) over here.