To hell with your Citizen Kanes, Casablancas, and Lawrence of Arabias. The cinematic arts hit their peak when Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie came out in 1995, and it’s all been downhill since. Here’s why.
First and foremost, it relies heavily on the indisputable highest form of humor in existence: Puns.
And it’s the only movie to start with a good two minutes of aerial acrobatics, because the Power Rangers skydiving onto a target will save the Angel Grove observatory… for some reason that’s never established. It’s unimportant. Look at those sweet flips!
More sweet flips!
And Kimberly and Billy flipping off-screen when any sane person would walk. It’s a testament to the importance of originality and proper quad fitness.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers engendered in a whole generation of young dorks a love of science. How can you listen to dialogue like this and not want to unlock the secrets of the universe?
Kimberly’s wide-eyed reaction to setting foot on an alien planet that’s clearly just California taught us all a valuable lesson about approaching each new experience with a sense of childlike wonder.
Other valuable lessons that lesser films don’t bother to teach: Evil uses bendy straws.
Never walk when you can Ninjetti Corkscrew Kick.
…and dance like no one is watching.
Though you may think Mighty Morphin Power Rangers is your average ’90s action movie, in breaking the fourth wall so Billy can make a (quite excellent, let’s be honest) pun it reveals a terrifying subtextual analysis of the nature of reality and our relationship to our inner selves.
Just as the Rangers taking so long to morph that the baddies got bored and left has philosophically intriguing implications about the nature of humanity’s solipsistic perception of time and the importance of living in the moment.
And the bad guy was defeated when he was kneed in the crotch into the path of an oncoming comet! After Aisha pressed a “For Emergency Use Only” button! “Knee to to the crotch” is a button that exists on the Ninja Megazord!
Remember that time Tommy slo-mo fell off a living dinosaur skeleton? That was fun.
And if you didn’t love Tommy (who didn’t love Tommy?), well, there was something for the adults in the audience.
If you ever get attacked by giant mutant birds, would you know that they’re repelled by the sound of swinging sticks if not for Mighty Morphin Power Rangers? I think not. I can’t tell you the number of times that knowledge has saved my skin.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers also taught us about the #1 danger to 100% of Angel Grove kids: The monorail.
Whereas adults have to look out for purple goo.
Just check out these special effects!
And the dialogue!
Pacific Rim could never.
Empathy was taught in the Rangers feeling an emotional connection to a man who was, alternatively, a giant hardboiled egg…
…and a living condom.
To, to sum up, thank you, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Thank you for my childhood.
One fistpump is not enough for this gem of a movie.