The nation is still reeling from a pair of mass shootings within a 24 hour period over the weekend that left a combined 29 people dead in two states. As everyone from musicians to pro athletes called for gun control in response to the loss of life, some have pushed back against calls for gun control.
It’s a depressing cycle of normalization that comes when the same kinds of violence are met with the same excuses, and it can be hard to cope with the continuous wave of grief, anger and frustration. But if there’s truly nothing we can do to fix the gun crisis in this country, and congress and the president refuse to act (let alone get the locations right), the least concerned denizens of Twitter dot com can do is ridicule a ridiculous anti-gun control argument.
One popped up on Monday when a man hopped into musician Jason Isbell’s mentions to argue that he needed assault weapons to keep his family safe from feral hogs. Isbell tweeted a rebuttal of anti-gun control arguments and was met by a man who claimed he needed to kill dozens of wild animals in a few minutes.
Legit question for rural Americans – How do I kill the 30-50 feral hogs that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?
— William McNabb (@WillieMcNabb) August 4, 2019
The tweet actually was sent on Sunday, but on Monday that ridiculous logic went viral online. Willie here is claiming that he needs to mow down “30-50” feral hogs to keep his children safe, which was quickly derided. When you feel helpless and things are bleak, it’s often gallows humor that gets you through. Which is why Twitter quickly filled with references to 30-50 feral hogs.
This is just to say
I have eaten
The 3 to 5 small children
That were in your yard
And you were probably saving
They were delicious
— a poem by 30 to 50 feral hogs
— Jamie Roberts (@jroberts548) August 5, 2019
Me preparing my rural American house for the untimely invasion of 30-50 feral hogs pic.twitter.com/5U9vZo1goD
— Webster's English Ducktionary (@Webster_Duck) August 5, 2019
Me when 50-70 feral hogs threaten my boys pic.twitter.com/M8lEIsnasf
— American Propagandist (@ArmyStrang) August 5, 2019
LETTERMAN: You hear about this one Paul, you hear about the feral hogs?
SHAFFER: That's right Dave, those hogs sure are feral!
LETTERMAN: And there are 30-50 of them!
SHAFFER: The feral hogs, everybody!
(band starts playing "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath)
— several people are typing (@VT_Ben) August 5, 2019
Laid up against the shed door with a ragged bandage tied around a gash in my leg and a gun in my hand. Strewn around me, empty cases of ammo, bottles of water, cans of beans. Huddled next to me, my only surviving child, the last hope of a dying world.
In the distance, a snort.
— where the hell did that second rat come from (@AntonioDRAMsci) August 5, 2019
It may even become a talking point in the 2020 election if this keeps up.
as president, i'll establish a student loan debt forgiveness program for small kids in yards attacked within 3-5 minutes by 30-50 feral hogs
— TORMABLAIEFDHZSJKLNBDSFEJKL PICKASDFJKLFDSNMKOFDSJ (@Tormny_Pickeals) August 5, 2019
The math is really the weirdest part of it all, as it implies that he needs to kill a LOT of hogs in a short amount of time. Because, keep in mind, feral hogs are a problem in some rural places. There’s even a whole reality show about it. But needing to maim that many hogs in that amount of time makes it seem like a full-blown crisis.
30-50 feral hogs. 10 hogs per minute after the original 30. 10 hogs per 60 sixty seconds run into your yard. but only when your small kids play. how long would it take for 420 hogs to run into your yard if your small children play for 2 hours a day? Make sure to show your work
— CODEUS⚡️ (@pumpkinheadguy) August 5, 2019
30-50 feral hogs can run into a yard with unsupervised small children within 3-5 minutes.
1. The rate of hogs per minute.
2. How many small children must be consumed for each hog to be satisfied for another 3-5 minutes.
— bletchley punk (@alicegoldfuss) August 5, 2019
Changelog: fixed an issue where 30-50 feral hogs appearing in a window of 3-5 minutes would cause the application to crash. The application should now support up to 100 feral hogs per minute.
— bterlson.d.ts (@bterlson) August 5, 2019
That's about 10 hogs per minute -or about 600 hogs per hour- with an (estimated) feral hog population of 6 million, it looks like in a little over a 13 months the entire US feral hog population will be situated in Willie's front yard. https://t.co/8R2A0tgbGR
— 𝑴𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒕 🐀 (@MisterRatt) August 5, 2019
The meme inside of a meme was also pretty great, too.
my (38m) feral hogs (1m, 2f, 1m, 2m, 1f, 4f, 2m, 3f, 1f, 5m, 3f, 4m, 5m, 2f, 1m, 3m, 4f, 2f, 4m, 4m, 1m, 2f, 1m, 2m, 1f, 4f, 7m, 2f, 5f, 2f, 1m, 1f, 4f, 2m, 3f, 1f, 5m, 4m, 2f, 1m, 4f, 2m, 3f, 4m, 1m, 4m, 2f, 4m, 2f, 1m, 2f, 3f, 4m, 5m, 2f, 1m, 3m, 4f, 2f, 4m, 4m) have unionised
— David East (@davideastUK) August 5, 2019
MY (25M) HOGS (30-50) HAVE UNIONIZED
— Jaya Saxena (@jayasax) August 5, 2019
It did bring up a serious question, though: what if this man is truly our last line of defense keeping us from disaster?
If we’re talkin 30-50 hogs per instance of hog attack then it may just be that this guy is the one thing keeping feral hogs from descending on America at large and I think we should commend him for that
— top of the iceberg to ya! (@DangOlWill) August 5, 2019
There were a lot of very specific references made, as happens with all memes, but somehow these all felt funnier on Monday.
This one references a tweet about how America far and away leads the world in mass shooting tragedies, while other nations with gun control have far fewer.
Feral hogs threatening my children by country:
— Daragh (@QDaragh) August 5, 2019
There was a musical section of this meme as well.
It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from youuuuuu!
There’s nothing that 30-50 feral hogs could ever doooo!
— JPF (@JoannePistonFan) August 5, 2019
Hey baby, I hear the hogs a-callin',
They’re feral & have 4 legs
And maybe I seem a bit confused,
They won’t leave, but I even begged!
But I don't know what to do with those 30-50 feral hogs
They're callin' again…Feral hogs all over my yard. What is a boy to do? pic.twitter.com/4mWFXCXlIR
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) August 5, 2019
This is an outstanding pun.
None of this solves the peril that faces the nation each and every day, nor does it quell the real fear that many feel. But one extremely dumb tweet was a distraction from the horrors of reality we’re often left with when we log off, so at least it wasted a few hours of the workday.