If you happen to be the parent of a child of the opposite sex, at some point, inevitably, you’ll have to take your child into a public bathroom with you. It can be somewhat awkward, but ultimately a fact of life. This dad’s Reddit TIFU story, however, probably comes close to what you’d call a worst case scenario. As he starts out, he says that he’s the father of a beautiful 3-year-old-girl and states right off the bat that he knows “bathroom stuff is part of the deal.”
But the incident he goes on to describe in horrifying detail probably falls out of the realm of “the deal” most parents expect to endure. And while a lot of these stories tend to be clearly made up, I’m gonna have to give the guy the benefit of the doubt on this one, for reasons soon to be obvious.
So this happened at a quiet little mom & pop restaurant. It was just the two of us in there. I wipe off and cover the seat so she can do her little tinkle…but then I realize I really have to go. No big deal. I just place her in the corner of the stall and say “don’t move.” I start to pee.
I hear the door to the restroom open, meaning we are now no longer the only two occupants. I hear two guys walk in. As one of the sets of footsteps draw near, my little girl starts to back away from the door and ends up right next to me. She looks down at what’s going on (with an “open door” policy on the bathroom at home, and her two brothers…it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before) and loudly exclaims: “Daddy!! Look at your little penis!!”
What…the…
I hear the other guys in the bathroom kind of snort…and then let loose in laughter.
First of all…wow. She’s never said that before…or since. Second…WHAT IS HER FRAME OF REFERENCE!!??
I love that her frame of reference is the biggest concern, here. Don’t worry, dad dude, I’m sure your penis size is of perfectly adequate size. I guess we can just chalk this one up to “kids say the darnedest things… about your wang.”
(Via Reddit)