The Half Moon is a legendary pub and music venue (everyone from Frank Sinatra to U2 has played there) in Herne Hill, London, that unfortunately closed down in 2013 due to a flood, and has yet to re-open. It also has a legendarily great list of patrons who are currently banned from the establishment. They could all be characters in a Jason Statham movie. I’m not sure why it took so long for someone to put this online, but I’m glad they did.
Unfortunately, we don’t know what That Blonde Bitch and Fat Paul did to be banned, but I have some guesses.
Mickey Two Suits
-Wouldn’t shut up about Mickey Blue Eyes.
Adam the Deaf Guy
-Thought he was playing Rolling Stones on jukebox, actually playing Coldplay.
-Took “yo mama” jokes way too seriously.
The Ginger Drunk Twat Called Angus
-They were fine with the drunk, they were fine with the twat, they were even fine with being named Angus. But the ginger? That’s too much.
-He only had eyes for you(r breasts).
That Blonde Bitch
-Being a bitch?
Gus and His Mate Mark
-Gus was chill; Mark was actually three dogs in a trench coat.
As for One-Armed “Kieth”:
This pub needs to be saved.