Headphones. The great gatekeeper. The St. Peter of your mind. When most people put in headphones and look down at their tablet/phone/laptop, it’s a Do Not Disturb sign, hung on the doorknob of social decency. But not everyone believes in this unspoken agreement, and they are mostly thirsty males.
In a recent article by The Modern Man, a how-to on the methods of speaking to a woman wearing headphones was given. Here’s a choice snippet from the original article. Please read.
“These days, many women walk around playing with a smartphone or tablet device and are often wearing headphones and listening to music at the same time.
Yet, that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them.
Of course, not all women are open to being approached because not all women are single and looking.
However, if a woman wearing headphones is single and hoping to meet a boyfriend (or even a new lover), she will almost always be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her.”
How will you know if a woman wearing headphones is “single and hoping to meet a boyfriend”? Well, you have to talk to her. This is what they call a conundrum. And there are context clues that will show you how to proceed.
See that woman there, wearing headphones, trying to listen for the secrets of the galaxy to call out to her? This is how you approach the situation.
1. Stand in front of her (with 1 to 1.5 meters between you).
2. Have a confident, easy-going smile.
3. If she hasn’t already looked up at you, simply get her attention with a wave of your hand. Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can see it.
4. When she looks at you, smile, point to her headphones and confidently ask, “Can you take off your headphones for a minute?” as you pretend to be taking headphones off your head, so she fully understands what you mean.
These tips have led to the collective internet banding together in an effort to add to these tips. There are many, many women who might be wearing headphones, some are different than others. Here’s what they came up with. Every situation is covered.
how to talk to a woman wearing headphones:
1. be the artist she has currently chosen to listen to through her headphones— jonny sun (@jonnysun) August 30, 2016
How To Talk To A Woman Who's Actually A Chicken That's Floating Out to Sea In A Small Bowl pic.twitter.com/Zow6PEGcn6
— Ryan Broderick (@broderick) August 30, 2016
How To Talk To A Woman When She's Wearing A Caterpillar P-5000 Powered Work Loader pic.twitter.com/ZgzJg26sLA
— David M Barnett (@davidmbarnett) August 30, 2016
How to Talk to a Woman Who is Walking Out Into the Ocean Because You Won't Stop Trying to Talk to Her
— Fun_Beard (@Fun_Beard) August 30, 2016
HOW TO TALK TO A WOMAN WEARING HEADPHONES
1) Don’t. Girls have cooties.— Dr. Bucky Isotope, Astrologist, IQ 188 (@BuckyIsotope) August 30, 2016
"How To Talk To A Woman Who Moved To Guatemala To Avoid You And Also Is Wearing Ear Buds."
— Gail Simone 💙💛 (@GailSimone) August 30, 2016
How To Talk To A Woman When You're The Babadook
— K. Thor Jensen 🐀🐀 (@kthorjensen) August 30, 2016
https://twitter.com/ditzkoff/status/770661927903256577
https://twitter.com/Crommunist/status/770637948043743233
https://twitter.com/KevinWGlass/status/770634119730659328
https://twitter.com/darth/status/770632762369859584
How To Talk To A Woman Who Just Won’t Leggo Her Eggos pic.twitter.com/CCVZrbrf1s
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) August 30, 2016
How To Talk To A Woman Reading A Book With Her Back To You And When She Says She Has A Boyfriend Backtrack And Talk To Her About Jesus
— Dr. Charlotta Lofqvist, S.J. (@jon_snow_420) August 30, 2016
How to talk to a woman on the holodeck (part two) pic.twitter.com/SDgYifvayh
— Gretchen Alice (@gretchenalice) August 30, 2016
https://twitter.com/mordkhetzvi/status/770765239063195648
Face it — she’s busy. Leave her alone.