If You’re Looking For A Party This New Year’s Eve, TGI Friday’s In Times Square Is Here To Help For $300

I can’t think of many places I’d rather avoid on New Year’s Eve than Times Square, except anything related to Guy Fieri. The alleged Mecca for those looking to party on the final day of the year, it’s actual a torturous event featuring a lot of standing, street pissing, and either Dick Clark or Ryan Seacrest. It’s not fun, it’s not a hoot, it’s just a manufactured experience that seems to look great from the comfort of a television screen.

Luckily TGI Fridays in Times Square is looking to help by making the event completely unbearable and wholly American at the same time:

The WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS RESTAURANT BRAND, hosting the WORLD’S BEST NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY in TIMES SQUARE, THE WORLDS MOST EXCITING PLACE.

Indulge in a 4-hour event (from 9:00pm – 1:00am) open premium bar with a FULL BUFFET and a live DJ.
Price includes tax, gratuity, party favors and excitement only steps away from the FAMOUS BALL DROP.

We are offering THE BEST DEAL IN TOWN without any broker fees or hidden costs for a complete package for $299.99 per person. (via)

Can I just be flogged to ring in the new year? Is that possible? I enjoy weird pot stickers and buffets, but this just seems like some sort of trick that Satan would pull in order to get people to sign over their souls. No amount of Jack Daniels sauce in the world could make me want to step foot into a Friday’s, even if there’s an open bar. Gothamist provided a few more details of what to expect in the four hour event:

  • Passed Hors D’oeuvres (Cold station with crab claws and jumbo shrimp, lamb chops, chicken empanadas, vegetable dumplings, potato skins)
  • Premium Open Bar (includes all Friday’s specialty drinks, such as Electric Lemonade and The Volcano)
  • Full Buffet Dinner
  • Dancing to DJ John Morales
  • Midnight Champagne Toast
  • Dessert / Coffee
  • Hats / Noisemakers

I’m content drinking in someone’s backyard, shooting guns into the air, and then waking up somewhere near their bathroom with a plate of grape jelly meatballs in my gut. I’ll be dead by 35, but it’ll be worth it.

(Via Mashable / Gothamist)