https://twitter.com/IvankaTrumpHQ/status/931303381464965122
What is that? Seriously, what does that giant clam stuffed with fake artsy pumpkins and forest floor refuse look like to you? If “something to decorate the Thanksgiving dinner table” crossed your mind, then you might be an employee at Ivanka Trump HQ, the eldest Trump daughter‘s designer brand. On Thursday evening, the company’s official Twitter account posted the above photo with the caption, “Have no idea how to decorate your Thanksgiving table? Problem solved.” A linked blog post details the pictured centerpiece, which is most assuredly “beyond the conventional cornucopia.”
Despite all the thought and interior design ingenuity that evidently went into the Thanksgiving table decoration, however, Twitter can be a fickle place to share such things — especially when they’re shared by Ivanka Trump’s personal brand. Hence why, amid the dizzying array of sexual assault and harassment stories in the current news cycle, social media finally latched onto what stand-up comedian Patton Oswalt dubbed the “Blair Witch’s toilet” and ran with it. Which, considering precisely what Ivanka Trump HQ is evidently telling its followers to put on their dinner tables this Thanksgiving, just might be a sign of madness.
Then again, considering the number of H.P. Lovecraft references the odd centerpiece inspired, maybe that’s where we’re truly headed.
From the H.P. Lovecraft collection. https://t.co/4X2tGg8v0r
— Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) November 18, 2017
IVANKA YOU HAVE STOLEN THE BLAIR WITCH’S TOILET YOUR FAMILY IS DOOMED. https://t.co/mn7QMzWiT0
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) November 18, 2017
this looks like when MacReady killed The Thing whist in mid-transformation https://t.co/HV5a83CuGs
— Chris Jackson (@ChrisCJackson) November 18, 2017
https://twitter.com/espiers/status/931765980652556289
https://twitter.com/kibblesmith/status/931707499706834944
https://twitter.com/drewmagary/status/931704139884744704
https://twitter.com/John_Birdsall/status/931748510893879298
Because nothing says "holiday of gratitude" like Festive Driftwood Gourd Mollusk https://t.co/4sQDrYWcOW
— Daniel Summers (@WFKARS) November 18, 2017
Dose Martha Stewart with ayahuasca and set her loose in a haunted Dollar General with a bucket of white paint https://t.co/ElYGFv377E
— Stu (@RandBallsStu) November 18, 2017
https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/931777239519301632
https://twitter.com/nicole_soojung/status/931699553270685696
Typical blind privilege to think we all easily have access to use Ursula's bin of poor unfortunate souls as table decoration https://t.co/07VseA8f4d
— maura quint (@behindyourback) November 18, 2017
no Thanksgiving is complete without the shit I scavenged at low tide https://t.co/o5BTl0P8sa
— Simon Maloy (@SimonMaloy) November 18, 2017
The Yellow King will rule forever in Carcosa. https://t.co/OiQB11Bc9s
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) November 18, 2017
https://twitter.com/jesseberney/status/931859744184242176