Kim Kardashian's IMDB Bio Is AMAZING

I want to buy drinks or something for Jon Hopwood, the IMDB writer responsible for penning shedding, wig-wearing famous person Kim Kardashian’s IMDB bio. Hell, I kind of want to set him up with a hooker for the first paragraph alone.

Kim Kardashian is emblematic of the shallowness of American culture in the first two decades of the new millennium. While some cultural critics call her the prime avatar of the “famous for being famous” faux celebrity crowd, she along with Paris Hilton is a new breed of cat whose celebrity comes from the release of a sex tape and the canny exploitation of the resulting publicity. Like her good friend Miss Hilton (their relationship predates Kim’s “celebrity”, Kardashian is possessed of photogenic good looks but is short of any other discernible talents outside of the bedroom. Both expanded their celebrity by becoming reality TV “stars”.

Boom, roasted!

And then comes the second paragraph…

Porn pioneer Harry Reems has commented how surprised he is at how porn stars like Jenna Jameson are accepted now in mainstream culture. His life was ruined by his participation in porn in its “Golden Years”. As for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, the release (accidental or not-so-accidental) of boudoir tapes didn’t result in shame but celebration. America like ancient Rome seems to have shuffled off the moral coil of virtue of the Republic and is now enjoying its Imperial self in an orgy of ignominy. It’s always more fun on the toboggan ride down the hill than it was schlepping up it in the first place.

Wow. I do believe this hero just slipped a Harry Reems reference into KK’s IMDB bio. DRINK!

Go ahead, read the whole thing before Kanye’s girlfriend’s army of attorneys find out about it and have it taken down. And God bless America!

UPDATE: IMDB took the bio down, but here’s a screengrab so that it can live on forever…

(HT: Slacktory)