Texas realtor Jenna Ryan isn’t about to let a little thing like a 60-day prison sentence get her down. Ryan is one of more than 600 people arrested for inciting a riot at the Capitol on January 6th, but managed to stand out from the pack by using social media to brag that she took a private jet (a “PJ” to the uninitiated) to Washington, D.C. and to brashly declare that she was “Definitely not going to jail” because “I have blonde hair white skin a great job a great future.” After Ryan pleaded guilty to a Class B misdemeanor for parading, demonstrating or picketing within a Capitol building, that “great future” now entails a couple of months in the hoosegaw, which Ryan is determined to make the best of.
As Bloomberg reports, Ryan’s 60-day sentence is far less than what many of her fellow rioters received. Jacob Chansley, the so-called QAnon Shaman, will spend 41 months behind bars for his actions that day. But Ryan is apparently trying to look on the bright side of being whisked away to prison… which means treating it like it’s an overly regimented spa visit.
On Sunday, Ryan posted a video to her approximately 2800 TikTok followers, in which she stood in front of a full-length mirror and bizarrely preened for the camera while explaining that she will be reporting to prison in January:
“And the only thing I can see that’s good about having to go to prison is that I’m going to be able to work out a lot and do a lot of yoga and detox. And also I can’t eat because the food is awful, and there’s just no food. So hopefully they have, like, some protein shakes and, uh, some protein bars I think. Because you don’t want to eat, like, green bologna. Because that’s what they have to eat. So I’m going to end up losing weight in prison… So hopefully I’ll finally get down to my ideal weight, because I won’t be able to drink, I won’t be able to eat. I won’t be able to eat, like, stupid stuff like chips and all the stuff I eat sometimes.”
Ryan then proceeded to step on a scale and show viewers her current weight of approximately 170 pounds and note that if she’s able to get down to 140 pounds, “then it will be worth going to prison for 60 days. If I can lose 30 pounds? It would be so worth it.”
OK, so it’s not exactly The Zone. There’s no word on whether Ryan realizes you can also not eat chips while not being incarcerated, but whatever helps you sleep through the night.
(Via Bloomberg)