This might be the understatement of the year candidate, but it seems that people in Oakland, California would really like a new mayor. As many as 20 candidates are currently registered to run against Jean Quan, citing all-important issues like health care, income equality and police brutality, among others, but at least one of those candidates doesn’t actually stand a chance, because he has four paws and a tail. That candidate is Einstein, a shepherd mix that has reportedly been a staple of the city’s Occupy movement, and he is currently serving as the mascot for people who are “harassed and hurt by police for the crime of being poor,” according to his official mayoral website.
Additionally, unlike other dogs that have run for office, Einstein claims to have really been paw deep in the sh*t, man.
I have dogannally also been victim of Oakland Police brutality. While participating in peaceful rallies and marches, along with humans, I have been tear gassed, and had a flashbang grenade explode just a few paw-strides away from me. As a consequence I have been diagnosed with canine post-traumatic stress disorder, you can’t even SAY the words ‘Jean Quan’ around me without causing me to freak out and start barking up trees trying to find the scoundrel.
That’s why as mayor I will make sure the Oakland shelter is a place where animals can expect kindness, care, and placement in a loving home rather than a canine Auschwitz-Barkenau or Dogchau. (Via Einstein for Oakland)
Wow. Okay. Another topic that Einstein “feels” strongly about is Oakland’s Domain Awareness Center, which “he” describes as “a networked surveillance grid recording our every movement around the City, monitoring whether we are leashed and are wearing our City-mandated licenses.” Basically, don’t make the mistake of starting a conversation with Einstein if you see him at a party, because this dog is serious.