Cory Evans, 22, was driving down interstate 95 in the area of St. Lucie, Florida bare ass naked — as one does — when he spotted a trucker driving a semi and thought he’d up his game. And so began the evening’s festivities, via the TC Palm:
The man identified as the victim, a semi-truck driver, reported the masturbating naked man slowed when the semi-truck slowed and sped up when the semi-truck accelerated. “The victim stated that the driver seemed to be enticing him and harassing him,” the report states.
The semi-truck driver remained on the phone with dispatchers, following the accused masturbating nude driver. “The victim stated that the suspect continued masturbating with the interior dome light on so he could be easily seen,” the report states.
Pfft, amateur. If you want to have sex with a trucker, just got find a rest stop bathroom like normal perverts do.*
(*I AM NOT MAKING A SWEEPING GENERALIZATION THAT ALL TRUCKERS ARE HOMOSEXUAL, ALTHOUGH SOME OF THEM ARE, AND THAT’S PROBABLY A GOOD PLACE TO SOLICIT GAY SEX WITH THEM.)