Donald Trump and his minions were never merely evil. They were also weird. The president-turned-failed blogger always led the charge, establishing a foundation of Mad Libs-style horrors that combined the nefarious with the absurd. (And he’s still got it!) One of the least flamboyant — though still shifty — of his staffers was Mike Pompeo, who took over as Secretary of State in April 2018, and rode it out until the end. He largely — but not entirely — kept a low profile. But he’s been acting up a bit since he lost his old job.
Calling all unapologetic Americans to join me and become a Pipehitter. https://t.co/KO15jutDPi
— Mike Pompeo (@mikepompeo) June 15, 2021
Tuesday saw a good example of the lunacy of which Pompeo is capable. Apropos of nothing much at all, the former CIA director took to Twitter to call upon “unapologetic Americans” to “join me and become a Pipehitter.”
What…could that possibly mean? Pompeo helpfully included a definition of the term it appears he just made up. In a pastiche of dictionary definitions, he defined it as “someone who is unapologetically American, someone who fights for our future, someone who never gives an inch, someone who is dedicated to stand against the radical Left’s agenda.”
Pompeo may have been a relatively quiet Trump staffer, but he wasn’t without incident. Perhaps his greatest offense was that time he chillingly claimed Trump would “transition” into a “second term” after losing the 2020 election to Joe Biden. Still, this kind of lowest-common-denominator conservative red meat business seemed slightly out of character for him.
But it was bizarre any way you slice it. And people on social media were quickly taken aback.
excuse me? https://t.co/pPufqLPvZi
— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) June 15, 2021
https://twitter.com/thekjohnston/status/1404914120202194949
Some complained that there are already too many Trumpists to mock these days. (For instance, on Monday Ted Cruz went viral on two separate occasions.)
so rude of him to add to the dumb shit he's said when we already have plenty to mock him for and everyone's so busy I mean damn Mike think of others https://t.co/1vLxUshNq1
— shauna (@goldengateblond) June 15, 2021
Some pointed out the term was ill-advised, if he was advised at all.
That time when nobody on his team warned Mike Pompeo what 99.9% of the people would think when they hear the word "pipehitter." https://t.co/MTWyKmVtHN
— Heather (@featherty) June 15, 2021
Some pointed out “pipehitter” is already a term, and not one you want.
this is not actually the commonly understood definition of the word. it refers to special ops personnel in the military and/or particularly hardcore members. It's also the name of the foundation established by Eddie Gallagher, accused war criminal pardoned by Trump. https://t.co/IhHUzCJoVF
— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) June 15, 2021
Others pointed out that this proves, once again, that satire is dead.
How can cancel culture kill comedy when these people exist https://t.co/hUE59oeiTe
— END ALL COLONIALISM, FREE PALESTINE (@BreeNewsome) June 15, 2021
But the majority of people saw Mike Pompeo drop the term “pipehitter” and immediately thought of drugs.
Were… were you high when you tweeted this? https://t.co/QCdxpOFqBm
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) June 15, 2021
Were… were you high when you tweeted this? https://t.co/QCdxpOFqBm
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) June 15, 2021
https://twitter.com/imillhiser/status/1404889150600495110
I don’t always hit the pipe, but when I do it’s full of dank kush https://t.co/tZohFj9Nyw
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) June 15, 2021
SMOKE CRACK WITH MIKE POMPEO LETS GOO https://t.co/p7ft3rtKMR
— Marisa (@POKE_M0M) June 15, 2021
https://t.co/AKKxvtCdHd pic.twitter.com/JjQgS8eFCF
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) June 15, 2021
Who among us doesn’t like to hit the pipe mirite high five https://t.co/G9UuHMvPjS
— Imani Gandy (Orca’s Version) ⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) June 15, 2021
https://twitter.com/waltshaub/status/1404930520631349250
Anyone who listens to this asshole is already hitting the pipe pretty hard. https://t.co/9rM5VJmJAz
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) June 15, 2021
There were other jokes as well.
https://twitter.com/scottbix/status/1404887068199854089
https://t.co/RMshAfWnii pic.twitter.com/BSyR3j2Jku
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) June 15, 2021
https://twitter.com/attackerman/status/1404912030260289536
amazed by the 23 year old with huge gums who came up with this. nice work https://t.co/71Ys836tR7
— Lead Actor from Pixar’s Sodas (@ByYourLogic) June 15, 2021
Tell me you've never read Urban Dictionary without saying it https://t.co/yel5i26mRt
— Samantha Bee (@realsambee) June 15, 2021
So there you have it: Yet another person who used to be employed by Donald Trump, stepping directly into that rake.