One of the unspoken rules of Twitter is that you never want to be its “main character” for the day, and Newsmax anchor Greg Kelly is learning that lesson the hard way. On Tuesday, the anchor and self-proclaimed “Beauty Influencer” fired off a strange tweet in response to Governor Andrew Cuomo legalizing recreational marijuana use in New York. According to Kelly, he once tried smoking “grass” and woke up four days later in another country. Via Twitter:
SMOKING WEED (aka GRASS) is NOT a good idea. I’ve tried it (back in the day) and it was WORSE than anything that happened to HUNTER BIDEN. I “toked up” with some buddies in Kentucky and woke up 4 days later in Nairobi, Kenya. With no idea what happened. DON’T DO DRUGS.
Of course, if you know anything about weed, nothing about this story adds up, and the tweet quickly went viral as people roasted Kelly for either trying his hand at satire or just being a terrible liar.
i apologize to the people of kenya. we did not intend to send him to your country. we wedgied him so hard that he briefly entered the fifth dimension and exited at an arbitrary location. again we are very sorry https://t.co/KqZiZntglw
— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) April 1, 2021
This sounds like everything on Newsmax in that it never happened.
— Sleeping Giants (@slpng_giants) April 1, 2021
DRINKING FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS is NOT a good idea. I’ve tried it and it was WORSE than anything that happened to GREG KELLY. I “toked up” with my grandpa during a tour of a chocolate factory and we nearly got sliced by ceiling fans. Four other kids died. DON’T DO CANDY. pic.twitter.com/CAAUMt4fZH
— Santa Claus, CEO (@SantaInc) April 1, 2021
My cousin Don Keedic got hooked on it after his time the military. He died from injecting marijuana. Keep fighting the good fight! pic.twitter.com/T8nVvoRnTg
— Wlat Harris (@pantherrants) April 1, 2021
However, there were a few people who gave Kelly the benefit of the doubt by pointing out that if his story is true, that probably wasn’t weed that his friends gave him.
That was ANGEL DUST. https://t.co/0seEv5zZ0F
— Biologically Black Bianca (@RealKHiveQueenB) April 1, 2021
"I “toked up” with some buddies in Kentucky and woke up 4 days later in Nairobi, Kenya."
You were smoking PCP, hoss.
Weed gives you couchlock and makes you spend hours watching cartoons on Adult Swim. Completely different thing.
— Jedi, Interrupted 🏳️🌈 (@JediCounselor) April 1, 2021
Thanks to the “grass” tweet, people started doing a deep dive into Kelly’s Twitter activity and it turns out he has a history of firing off some extremely strange thoughts about his daily life. For example, when he’s trying to get swole buying Muscle Milk at GNC, do not offer him the 10% off on Tuesdays deal. Greg Kelly hates that. He’s also the Newsmax anchor who aired an entire story on Joe Biden’s dog looking rough. Yup, he’s that guy.
— blaire erskine (@blaireerskine) April 1, 2021
Fortunately, an expert finally weighed in on Kelly’s grass tweet, and you won’t find a higher authority than this:
Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the dumb fuck of the day. https://t.co/hY23Tw3rjl
— Tommy Chong (@tommychong) April 1, 2021
(Via Greg Kelly on Twitter)