In case you weren’t feeling unaccomplished by sitting around, watching Gossip Girl reruns and eating the pizza from Friday night you never got around to putting in the refrigerator, Nik Wallenda is here to make you feel worthless.
Nik Wallenda tightroped across the North Colorado River Gorge near the Grand Canyon for a friggin quarter mile. The steel cable he walked on was only two inches thick and he was 1500 feet above ground. The journey took 22 minutes, which is three minutes shorter than the time it takes me to walk a quarter mile on the street. And all of this was live on The Discovery Channel…who knew?
Here’s the video of Wallenda’s walk, which, even though I know he made it, I still get nervous watching it. Cojones, sir. Cojones.
You know who’s not impressed? Our good friend and meme subject of the year, Drizzy Drake, who can tightrope in f*cking Timbs. Your move, Nik.