2013 has been a great year for random people’s obituaries. There was the loyal Waffle House customer and the world’s greatest cat burglar. Now we have William Freddie McCullough, a good old boy if there ever was one.
Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reeses Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order. He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Not necessarily in that order. He was a master craftsman who single -handedly built his beautiful house from the ground up. Freddie was also great at growing fruit trees, grilling chicken and ribs, popping wheelies on his Harley at 50 mph, making everyone feel appreciated and hitting Coke bottles at thirty yards with his 45. When it came to floor covering, Freddie was one of the best in the business. And he loved doing it. Freddie loved to tell stories. And you could be sure 50% of every story was true. You just never knew which 50%.
If you’re wondering how he died, the obit notes that “Freddie was killed when he rushed into a burning orphanage to save a group of adorable children. Or maybe not.”
Perfect.
(Pic via Shutterstock)