Rudy Giuliani is such a wreck his chaos is even spreading to those in his orbit. On Friday the fallen former “America’s Mayor” was ordered to pay a whopping $148 million to two election workers who sued him for defamation. His self-destructive comments came about in December of 2020. It was a wild time for him: He had the Four Seasons Total Landscaping debacle, he introduced the wine lady, and he had that mystery goo moment.
Now some three years later, there’s more Giuliani-related weird hair news. Giuliani and his posse appeared at a Georgia courthouse, where he received the bad news. Among him was his entourage, including someone who appears to be a bag man, one of his lawyers, or simply a staffer. Whoever he was, he had weird, weird hair.
Rudy took him to Four Seasons Total Manscaping and things got wildly out of control. pic.twitter.com/x4qB2acIxk
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 16, 2023
The ‘do sure is a wonder. Most of the guy’s head is shaved, save a gigantic, continent-sized land mass towards the front of his head. To some it looked like Cillian Murphy’s early 20th century Irish gangster get-up from Peaky Blinders, if the hair was in the slightly wrong place.
It’s kind of a Peaky Blinders cut, but this guy is no Tommy Shelby. https://t.co/ocT9FZ9ES5 pic.twitter.com/V628p4b1zO
— seriously?!? (@krislytle) December 16, 2023
Others thought it seemed like Hitler-y.
why did nobody tell me that rudy giuliani's bodyguard (lol) has the worlds most insane haircut. it's like someone turned the hitler moustache into a hairstyle. it's like he's paying for his hair on installments. where do you even find a guy like this pic.twitter.com/U32URKgOyN
— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) December 16, 2023
Barber: What are we doing today?
Giuliani’s Lawyer: I’m thinking Hitler’s mustache as a haircut pic.twitter.com/oZ8c4EqbMS— Lauren Rinaldi 🧚♀️ (@LRinaldiArt) December 16, 2023
It also inspired tons and tons of jokes.
the *only* explanation for Giuliani's lawyer is that he was 2/3rds through a haircut and then remembered he had court pic.twitter.com/wrK9cLMmVy
— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) December 15, 2023
Love how Giuliani’s fella by here looks like someone’s suddenly stolen most of his hair, & he’s watching them run away with it, powerless to stop them pic.twitter.com/fvGw5VZcGa
— Gwdihŵ 🦉 (@youwouldknow) December 16, 2023
Rudy Giuliani's lawyer's hair is almost as bad as his
H/t #imgur https://t.co/JJryWhX8Y6 pic.twitter.com/SMaLLXhuTD
— Maker Bayfield (@Jozefowski) December 16, 2023
Wanna feel old? This is a picture of Rudy Giuliani’s hair dye today. pic.twitter.com/bXVX24D3Va
— Jason Selvig (@jasonselvig) December 16, 2023
A few things in life we just know. Like if your attorney has this haircut, you are about to write a check for $148M. pic.twitter.com/NqjBYgE3yv
— Warren (@swd2) December 15, 2023
If you think Rudy Giuliani's hair is bad, wait till you see his lawyer's. https://t.co/JTllUMnXaC
— Mark (@mark_melbin) December 16, 2023
Who is this guy behind Rudy Giuliani and what the fuck is going on with his hair? pic.twitter.com/VpBdrvBAQQ
— Cy Martz (@flamboyantCy) December 15, 2023
Not sure what was more surprising, the $150M judgement against Rudy Giuliani or his bag man's haircut.
Him to his barber.
"I would like business in the back and top with a party plume in the front." pic.twitter.com/3ClR7JBp33— Roman Orosco (@romanorosco) December 15, 2023
Currently the Giuliani associate’s identity is unknown, which is probably for the best. At least he’s doing better than Rudy, who before the verdict was so broke he can’t even afford a car in which to cry (or fart). The poor guy’s even jokingly (or not?) begging people for money on live television.