Sesame Street celebrates its 50th anniversary this year, which is incredible in that anyone born after the year 1965 has probably grown up with the beloved PBS educational children’s television series, as well as their children, and their children’s children in many cases. The residents of the titular neighborhood are as ubiquitous and recognizable as any fictional characters — from Mickey Mouse to Bart Simpson — and as such, people understandably have their personal favorites.
Yet, the official Sesame Street Twitter account threw people for a loop by posing the following question this week. “You’re stuck on a deserted island and you can pick one of these Sesame Street friends to come with you,” the tweet read, with pictures of Elmo, Oscar the Grouch, Cookie Monster, and Elmo. “Who are you picking and why?”
You’re stuck on a deserted island and you can pick one of these Sesame Street friends to come with you. Who are you picking and why? 🤔 pic.twitter.com/bGjF7Bx5Xo
— Sesame Street (@sesamestreet) March 18, 2019
It seems like a pretty random sampling of characters to choose from. I mean, why not Big Bird, who could easily reach up and grab coconuts from trees? Or Snuffleupagus who could also, uh, reach up and grab coconuts from trees?
At any rate and despite the fact that Sesame Street Muppets are overall kind, benevolent creatures — many not unreasonably turned to which one would provide the most sustenance in the event that sh*t got real.
https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1107759982072741888
Really, really big chicken. pic.twitter.com/fACPFhYk3w
— Hieronymus McGillicuddy (@HieronymusMcG) March 19, 2019
Could survive for a good year on all that Snuffleupagus meat. pic.twitter.com/nQrVfiXObN
— Sicko (@pursepeekin) March 18, 2019
cookie monster has the most muppet meat on his bones https://t.co/dVBoTVotFv
— jake (@jakecurrie) March 18, 2019
Cookie Monster, based solely on caloric density, but they all look delicious.
— Ray (@SirEviscerate) March 18, 2019
https://twitter.com/justinkirkland4/status/1107756076399759361
By process of elimination or legitimate arguments, some came up with rationale for picking Elmo, Oscar, or (for non-eating reasons) Cookie Monster.
Elmo is the ONLY choice.
Grover: too anxious
Cookie Monster: would go through cookie withdrawal & who even knows what his sober personality is
Oscar: anyone who chooses Oscar should be on a watchlist https://t.co/dmKLvZszKg
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) March 18, 2019
Elmo. His absence would hurt the show's bottom line the most and therefore the bigwigs would send out the largest search party for him (and hopefully there would be a seat for me on the chopper back to civilization). https://t.co/jOPRMBBpWY
— Ken Davidoff (@KenDavidoff) March 18, 2019
Grover & Elmo ask too many damb questions & i don't wanna find out that cookie is an omnivore on a deserted island. so ill pick Oscar cause he won't nag me w questions https://t.co/lZecKWht78
— ?st (@questlove) March 18, 2019
https://twitter.com/KFILE/status/1107747766434959362
https://twitter.com/EricHaywood/status/1107752541192781824
I pick Cookie Monster because he’s an addict and getting us off the island and in the direction of cookies in 48 hours minimum https://t.co/pFzmrSyZQZ
— BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL (@edsbs) March 18, 2019
https://twitter.com/brfreed/status/1107746751065272320
But perhaps the strongest cases were made for Grover, due to his abilities to befriend wildlife, knowledge of when things are near or far, his alter-ego of Super Grover (who could ostensibly fly off the island), or just because he’s so darn good at hugs:
Oscar has a pet worm, which proves that he has enough charisma to befriend the local wildlife, thus gaining us allies during our time on the island. next question pic.twitter.com/6MrAusxzbL
— Nebraska Humane Society (@NEHumaneSociety) March 19, 2019
Duh, Grover. He’ll be able to tell if passing ships are near or far. 🤣 pic.twitter.com/4d3HjYYVzL
— KevInCLE (@ClevelandKevin) March 19, 2019
https://twitter.com/the_endverse/status/1107742467036798977
https://twitter.com/sepinwall/status/1107766032469512204
— Maggie#FBPE #FBNHS 🇪🇺💉📚🧪🩺 (@TrudeauMaggie) March 18, 2019
https://twitter.com/whitefox_ca/status/1107730595335962625
Ever heard of Super Grover, you idiots? He’s gonna get stuff DONE. Planes will see him in his cape and Roman helmet or whatever it was. He’s ENTHUSED. He’d do all the cooking for sure. Also will provide a good amount of food when you kill/eat, not like scrawny #Elmo https://t.co/bEutULhpoe
— Joss Whedon (@joss) March 18, 2019
Grover and it’s not even close.
Elmo, God love him, would become super annoying QUICKLY asking way too many questions. Cookie’s blood sugar gets low, he becomes hangry, and it’s a wrap. Oscar would complain the whole time and wouldn’t lift a finger to help. This is science. https://t.co/vm4xUmrXUL
— April (@ReignOfApril) March 18, 2019
— New York City FC (@newyorkcityfc) March 18, 2019
Even if Grover himself makes it clear that a deserted island is the last place you will find him:
Just to be clear, I am WAY too cute and adorable to get stuck on a deserted island.
— Grover (@Grover) March 18, 2019
Although as Joseph Gordon-Levitt points out, maybe what you’d really need is a WILD CARD.
Breaking the rules. Picking ANIMAL. https://t.co/CNPxSbS1eL
— Joseph Gordon-Levitt (@hitRECordJoe) March 18, 2019
Sure, sure … Animal is technically a Muppet and not a Sesame Street character, but if the Muppets were factored in it seems safe to say that Miss Piggy would be toast. Y’all are savages out there.