This Guy’s Story About His Roommate Having Sex Has The Worst Ending Imaginable

terrible sex story

This story starts innocently enough as a guy hears his roommate come home with a woman. One thing leads to another and yada, yada, yada, headboard meets wall as the two engage in coitus. No big deal, we’ve all been there. We’ve all had to endure a roommate getting far too loud in his or her respective lovemaking.

But this is not your normal, run-of-the-mill post from reddit’s TIFU, a place where fake stories are fairly common. This one has a deranged ending, one you hope wasn’t made up simply for the Internet’s amusement.

This happened yesterday. So, I was lying on my bed in my room at home, reading, when I heard the front door open and my flatmate come in with a girl. He clearly didn’t think I was home, because they immediately went to his room (which shares a wall with mine). I was mildly amused by this, so I decided not to go out and ruin their fun.

Before long, they start getting down to it and, since they didn’t think I was home, they weren’t shy about being vocal. He was grunting away, and she was moaning pretty loudly, shouting his name, etc. All this noise started to turn me on, so I started masturbating, figuring that this was better than porn because it was real-life. Eventually, the girl started moaning even louder, which I took to indicate that she was cumming, and there was some definite wall-banging as well, so it didn’t take me long to finish either. Satisfied, I went back to my book.

After about half an hour or so, I was bored of being confined to my room, so I went out into the lounge, not really caring if I’d embarrass them; we’re all adults, we can just laugh it off.

I walked into the lounge to find my flatmate sitting on the couch, watching TV, with his arm around my little sister.

Christ. What have I done?

The following phrases sum up everyone’s thoughts on that ending:

1) Nope.
2) No way.
3) Uh-Uh.
4) I have to puke.
5) WHAT!
6) That’s bullsh*t.
7) NO.
8) Good luck looking your sister in the eyes again.
9) Good luck looking at your roommate in the eyes again.
10) I’m telling mom!