Out of all of the jobs to have, it’s probably an accurate guess that few places of employment sum up the phrase “never a dull moment” better than strip clubs. Hospitals maybe, but to a far less entertaining degree. This is why someone posed the question to AskReddit: “Strip-club workers of reddit, what is your best/worst story from the job?” And stories, Redditors did have! We’ve rounded up some of our favorites, starting out with the top-voted answer of why you should never order food at a strip club (with bonus illustration from user Frond_Dishlock). As if that wasn’t already reasonable common sense:
walked into the kitchen and saw one of the girls sitting bottomless on a prep counter
never, ever eat at a strip club
Never forget that you’re just a walking dollar bill:
I was a barback for a male strip club for about a week. Female clientele. The shrieking inside that tiny place was unbelievable. I bet if you did a hearing census on male strippers they’d all be half deaf. Anyway, these ladies would be going crazy all over these guys. The dancer I got along with best was named Black Magic. And his main schtick was literally a voodoo doctor coming up on stage to some dark sounding beats and candlelight. You’re probably imagining what a male stripper named Black Magic might look like, and you’re probably right. Anyway, one day I asked him, “Hey, Black Magic, don’t you ever get like crazy blue balls, all these beautiful women rubbing up on you all the time?” And he replied, in his deep voice, “shouldprobablygo, they may be beautiful, but when I look at them? All I see is money.” G as f*ck.
This gentleman almost definitely has a freezer full of sawed-up strippers in it:
I used to bartend at a club in college. One of the dancers, who was fairly new, was trying a new move on the pole where she hooked her leg around it and stretched her body out so she was parallel to the floor. Well, she fell on her face. There was a lot of blood. As the bouncer and I were helping her off the stage, one of the customers dipped his finger in it and tasted it…