A life of crime is no joke, but apparently it can make for some very funny mob nicknames. And with many other aspects of life slowly slipping into the unknown grasp of a disease-filled winter, poking fun at potential criminals with eccentric nicknames is really the best we can hope for this holiday season.
Monday brought word that a mob bust in Philadelphia had wrapped more than a dozen suspects up in RICO charges. There were some incredible names in the news bulletin, starting first and foremost with a guy nicknamed “Tony Meatballs.”
In other news, 15 Philly mob members and associates — including underboss Steven Mazzone and a guy nicknamed "Tony Meatballs" — indicted in biggest LCN RICO case in city in years. pic.twitter.com/zYgbIPs1ON
— Jeremy Roebuck (@jeremyrroebuck) November 23, 2020
The other names on the list were good, though, too. A guy named “Joey Electric” getting… charged… is pretty great. But the focus was all on Tony Meatballs on Twitter as the RICO news spread, and for good reason: it is very easy to make jokes about people with a generic first name and a last name that is also a food.
Free Tony Meatballs! He did a lot for the community. He taught a young Joanie Pepperoni how to show respect.https://t.co/mPDP9Raomx
— Vince Mancini (@VinceMancini) November 23, 2020
you can tell the mob is on hard times by this nicknames. "Mr. Hopkins"? "Joey Electric"? "Louie Sheep"? "Kenny"? "Tony Meatballs"? https://t.co/OKIvPfLzEi
— catturd2.bsky.social (@thetomzone) November 23, 2020
https://twitter.com/JRehling/status/1330937637041934339
and here I thought "tony meatballs" were sold at IKEA https://t.co/1piy3FcQ5W
— Ryan Teague Beckwith (@ryanbeckwith) November 23, 2020
these guys are getting names like this just for the publicity and the papers now. i remember back in the day when you hadda EARN being Tony Meatballs. https://t.co/ScZgv6CSXd
— jonbernhardt.bsky.social (@jonbernhardt) November 23, 2020
Amazingly, this legal trending topic had nothing to do with Donald Trump or Rudy Giuliani.
When I saw Tony Meatballs trending, I genuinely thought Trump’s legal team had a new member.
— Desi (@DesiJed) November 23, 2020
Who else saw Tony Meatballs trending and immediately thought he's the newest member of Trump's "elite" legal team?
— Mike Pence – Professional Mannequin (@vespertilioAJR) November 23, 2020
Despite the bad news for all parties involved, they will have their day in court eventually. Which is how the criminal justice system works in this country, if only because it means a judge in Philly will have to say names like “Tony Meatballs,” “Joey Electric” and “Louie Sheep” out loud someday. It’s the least that 2020 can give us after all this, really.