Donald Trump isn’t so hot at winning national elections, but maybe he’s better at golf? The ultra-bougie sport is perhaps his biggest side passion. After all, it’s a golf course where his late wife Ivana is buried. But what if he’s not the 18-course master he professes to be? What if he “performed” so well at a tournament this weekend that even he had to claim he didn’t cheat?
Trump (P01135809 ) claims he is a champion athlete.
And as a senior too, I have flown to the planet Jupiter 67 times in mere minutes in a rocket ship I designed in my Bedminster backyard on a no hanky/lanky Tuesday!#VoteBlue #resist #VoteBlue2024 pic.twitter.com/sfw2Ae4LhS
— Bruce Bourgoine (@BruceBourgoine) August 26, 2023
On Saturday, apropos of nothing, the former president took to his rinky-dink Twitter clone with some good news: ““I am pleased to report, for those that care, that I just won the Senior Club Championship (must be over 50 years old!) at Bedminster (Trump National Golf Club), shooting a round of 67.”
Sounds like a low score, huh? Well, maybe it’s too low. Two weeks back, the same course saw a Saudi-backed tournament featuring some of the greatest golfers on the planet. One of them, Phil Mickelson, shot a 75 that day — eight fewer than Trump later claimed to do. Perhaps that’s why he then went into defensive mode.
“Some people will think that sounds low, but there is no hanky/lanky,” Trump said. “Many people watch, plus I am surrounded by Secret Service Agents. Not much you can do even if you wanted to, and I don’t. For some reason, I am just a good golfer/athlete – I have won many Club Championships, and it is always a great honor!”
Now, there’s a chance the golfers during the previous tournament weren’t playing the same tees, that the grass could have been not as short, that they made it harder on the pros than they did on folks like Trump. Still, people weren’t buying that Trump out-performed one of the best at the sport.
Trump needs to get, "I AM NOT CHEATING AT GOLF" embroidered on his golf shirts, just so we're sure.
— Schooley (@Rschooley) August 27, 2023
Trump hasn’t won anything without cheating in decades. ⛳️ . 🏌️♂️
Not golf, his marriages, his business dealing, his taxes, his charities… or his elections.
He hit a 67 just like he weighs 215. pic.twitter.com/SIRPU3tcuT
— Billy Baldwin (@BillyBaldwin) August 27, 2023
“Hanky/lanky”? Trump wants you to know he can’t cheat at golf because he’s “surrounded by Secret Service Agents”. Then he babbles about what a good athlete he happens to be. He’s completely delusional and detached from reality. pic.twitter.com/RW9nzfyvLL
— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) August 27, 2023
BREAKING: pathologically-lying obese out-of-shape dictator-wannabe “athlete” “wins” golf championship at his own golf course as cowardly sycophants watch and confirm his victory… #Trump pic.twitter.com/QSVOyJsmHS
— Andy Ostroy (@AndyOstroy) August 27, 2023
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being most likely). How likely is it that trump cheats at golf?
— cjmmn (@ChuckCjmmn) August 27, 2023
Trump’s been having a hard time convincing people of his tall claims these days. Last week people really weren’t buying the weight he self-reported during his fourth arraignment.