Tucker Carlson is suddenly Nicki Minaj’s biggest fan—and all, appropriately, because of a pair of swollen testicles. On Monday, the “Bang Bang” singer posted a rather personal, and somewhat revolting, detail about her cousin’s friend who, if he exists at all, presumably was not consulted about having the status of his inflated and inoperable junk tweeted to nearly 23 million people:
“My cousin in Trinidad won’t get the vaccine cuz his friend got it & became impotent. His testicles became swollen. His friend was weeks away from getting married, now the girl called off the wedding. So just pray on it & make sure you’re comfortable with ur decision, not bullied.”
My cousin in Trinidad won’t get the vaccine cuz his friend got it & became impotent. His testicles became swollen. His friend was weeks away from getting married, now the girl called off the wedding. So just pray on it & make sure you’re comfortable with ur decision, not bullied
— Nicki Minaj (@NICKIMINAJ) September 13, 2021
Before reading that tweet aloud (which, trust us, is worth losing a piece of your soul to watch a Fox News clip), Carlson—who is definitely the kind of guy who has used the words “my Black friend” on occasion—had to explain who Minaj was to his audience, which is sort of like a twenty-something trying to explain TikTok to their grandparents.
“So Nicki Minaj is a huge rap artist. Not sure there’s much overlap between her audience and this one, but our producers assure us she’s one of the biggest in the world,” Carlson said, in what might be the understatement of the century.
Here's Tucker Carlson reading Nicki Minaj's "testicles became swollen" tweet out loud pic.twitter.com/CvkY4vxMB4
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 14, 2021
While there’s nothing funny about COVID, the hilarity of the words “impotent” and “testicles became swollen” coming out of Carlson’s mouth was not lost on anyone, particularly given the graveness with which he read them. And the chyron certainly didn’t make it any less funny.
Chyron of the year. pic.twitter.com/8YsKKblF7d
— Paul Farhi (@farhip) September 14, 2021
But the real kicker came in Carlson’s three-word response to the tweet, as reported by Mediaite: “Which seems sensible.”
Carlson promised to report more on the “big reaction” to Minaj’s tweet on Tuesday’s show. Which, we’re sort of looking forward to watching.
Meanwhile, who do you trust?
It's Dr. Fauci vs. Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls.
— Just Bill (@WilliamAder) September 14, 2021
(Via Mediaite)