Meet The Florida Teen Who Had Sex With A Stuffed Horse In Walmart’s Bedding Department

Creative Director
10.15.14 20 Comments

The actions of this Florida teenager will have you thinking twice the next time you let your kids run to the toy aisle unsupervised.

Sean Johnson reportedly made a full confession to police after Walmart surveillance cameras caught him getting a little too friendly with a stuffed horse:

According to cops, Sean Johnson, 19, walked to the store’s bedding department with a stuffed toy horse and proceeded to pleasure himself–a lewd act that was captured by surveillance cameras.

Two things, before we proceed:

– Let’s be honest, f*cking a stuffed toy horse is the most adorable way to f*ck a horse. Give this guy points for at least adding an endearing element to his fetish. He might be galaxies away from the societal norm, but at least he found a way to stumble a few steps in its general direction.

– At least he took his mate to the coziest department in the store. Of the (probably) countless people who have hooked up in Florida Walmarts, how many have showed that level of consideration for their partner’s comfort?

Now, back to the gross stuff: Police say Johnson followed the act by placing the “ejaculate-covered” toy back on the shelf, contaminating other items around it. That’s just wasteful.

Johnson was released from custody after posting $1,500 bond. Police charged him with indecent exposure and criminal mischief.

(Via: The Smoking Gun + WFLA)

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