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ZITO RISES TO MEDIOCRITY FOR ONE NIGHT

SKULL THEFT BAFFLES HIPPIES

By 05.13.08

Believe it or not, this news lede didn’t come from The Onion.

A large crystal skull similar to those at the center of the upcoming Harrison Ford movie was recently stolen from a New Age store, puzzling employees in part because of the laid-back nature of shop regulars.

Gosh, I never would’ve thought people who think crystals have magical powers could be puzzled by something.

The skull, named Solar Ray [probably after his daughter -Ed.] by owner Don Marr, had been on loan at "Kindred Spirits" for about four months and went missing about two weeks ago. It had sat on an altar in the store’s classroom area and was considered one of the shop’s prized objects.

Awesome. Hey, do you think one of you lala-land idiots could talk about the skull as if it were a real person?

"He was on an altar, and he just enjoyed being here," said employee Kristen Nestor, who supervises the store’s weekly crystal-reading classes.

Perfect, thanks.

"He participated in our classes.  He likes to travel and things like that," Nestor said. "He was here for about four months, just enjoying everyone who comes through here." Nestor said she believes the skull is as old as 500 years.  [Yahoo]

Nestor isn’t an archaeologist or historian, but says the skull “just seemed like an old soul.”  Police say they have no suspects as of yet, but won’t rule out Nestor’s boyfriend, an unemployed DJ who plays “a sort of House/drumandbass/jungle hybrid.”


TAGSCRYSTAL SKULLShippiesidiotsIndiana Jones

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