Hey, gang, here’s a new segment in which I review movies you might see on an airplane. Because that’s where I saw them, get it? And just in time for the holidays, right? I thought so.
Even on Virgin America, the selection of films available on the plane isn’t always that great. And once I was finished with 500 Days of Summer, that was pretty much it for movies I was actually interested in seeing. The next best thing was The Proposal, which I always thought looked like a terrible rom-com, but made a ton of money, got decent reviews (especially from Pete Hammond) and even garnered a Golden Globe nomination for Sandra Bullock. Maybe I was wrong?
So Sandra Bullock is Ryan Reynolds’ boss, a powerful New York book editor. Of course she’s not just a bitch, she’s a caricature of “the bitch.” She never smiles, she’s mean to everyone, and she hates puppy dogs. (I’m not exaggerating that last part for effect, her character actually hates puppy dogs, even ones that looks like this. Because subtlety is for fags.) She’s Canadian (really? a super bitchy Canadian?), and just when she’s about to score a huge promotion, her Visa gets denied and she’s about to get deported. She’s on the verge of losing the position she’s sacrificed friends, family, and a social life for (*RECORD SCRATCH*) unless, she can strongarm her assistant into this sham marriage thing. And that is, as they say, The Proposal.
Reynolds, finally in a position of power, blackmails her into promising him a job as an editor, AND, she has to come break the news to his family back home in Sitka, Alaska on his grandma’s 90th birthday. On the plane there from New York, Bullock acts surprised that their flight is going to Juneau, and not directly to Sitka. Now, using Sitka as a setting in the first place I assumed was a reference to Michael Chabon’s Yiddish Policeman’s Union. Chabon is a Pulitzer-winning author, and since the film’s set in the book publishing industry, there are lots of references to Pulitzer authors. For Bullock’s character, chief book lady, not to know that you can’t get a direct flight to a town of 8,000 in Alaska, a town she’s most likely read a book about, is retarded.
But this is a fish-out-of-water story, you see! She’s going to act terrified around animals and express surprise that you can’t wear high heels on horseback! Haha, stupid ceety slicker! In fact, if I could sum up The Proposal in just one sentence, that sentence would be “Sandra Bullock’s Blackberry gets stolen by an eagle.”
Seriously, that happened.