An Open Letter To Cee-Lo Green
Live-action Bubblegum Crisis Movie Will Please Both Fans

Natalie Portman’s Sexy Sex Comedy to Feature REVERSE ORAL STATUTORY

By / 11.16.10

Make ouuu-- oh. Carry on, then.


The other day I brought you the news that Natalie Portman had co-written with college friend Laura Moses BYO, a “raunchy”, female-driven sex comedy in the vein of Superbad, in which a sexed-up Portman would sexily play one of the main sex characters.  The script is currently making the rounds, and now, much like your sister in a mini-skirt, some of the juicier bits have begun to leak out.  In fact, according to a recent report, the script features one of the leads giving a Boniface Jenkins to a 15-year-old boy.  And on the fifth page no less!

The two main characters are Lucy and “Al” (short for Alice) — Lucy is the wild sex fiend and Al is the more or less level-headed one. There’s a scene on page five in which Lucy is caught blowing a 15 year-old by the teen’s mother. “There is one other sex scene,” he says, “but who knows what it’ll be. Let’s just say [the rest of the script] doesn’t get any dirtier than the page-five BJ.” [Hollywood-Elsewhere]

And I hope that by “level-headed” they mean she blows dudes her own age, because when I was 15, the closest I got to a BJ was when mom’s boyfriend slept over.  What is this, science fiction?

Sub-joke: Oral sex with a 15-year-old on page five?  Sounds like someone owes Roman Polanski royalties.

Sub-joke 2: I heard “Page-five, BJ” is how they call your mom over the intercom where she works.


TAGSBYOLAURA MOSESnatalie portmanoral sexSexSTATUTORY RAPE

Join The Discussion


[avatar]

Join the discussion. or Register





Powered by WordPress.com VIP