BRENDAN FRASER HAS STILL GOT IT

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Senior Editor
06.20.08 58 Comments

The full trailer for the third Mummy movie (after the jump) has hit the web, and the most offensive thing about it is that it looks like they spent a lot of money on it.  In Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Brendan Fraser takes on 2,000-year-old Chinese Emperor Jet Li while spouting epic dialogue like “Here we go again!” and “I. Really. Hate. Mummies!”  And keep in mind, those are the lines someone thought would best sell the movie.

Mummies are the crappiest movie villians of all time.  Oh no, a fragile corpse that can’t move faster than a walk! Why do you think all the poor kids have to dress up as mummies for Halloween?  Man, those fuckers were so jealous of my Rainbow Brite costume.  It cost a fortune, but my uncle bought it for me because I was so good at keeping secrets.  

You can see it in higher res at PapaJohns.com. No, really.

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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