Senior Editor
09.23.09 29 Comments

In the latest issue of Rolling Stone, Megan Fox says, “I’m really tired of being exploited and having everything I say sensationalized.  It’s an unbearable lifestyle.”  On that note, I think it would be really fun to exploit her by sensationalizing something she said.  To wit:

“Men are scared of powerful, confident vaginas.  But I wasn’t born with a special vagina.”

I don’t know, Megan Fox, I think I’d be much less fearful of a vagina strutting around town in a top hat and a silk suit than I would be of a vagina that drooled and had to take special classes.  Which is to say, I’m relieved, because it sounds like your vagina and I would be compatible.  Also, and I realize this is neither here nor there, but when I typed “vaginas” up there, my spell checker drew one of those red lines under it for being incorrect.  I right clicked to see what suggestions it had for me, and one of the first was “vagina’s.”  As if the designer of my computer couldn’t even imagine the prospect of two vaginas together, but frequently found occasion to say things like “Help, my vagina’s car broke down,” or “Dang, my vagina’s kids done shot up the school again.”    In conclusion, vagina.

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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