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08.30.07 24 Comments

Punisher 2 (even though it's really the third one, if you count the one with Dolph Lundgren) finally got a title – Punisher: War Zone

This surely is great news to the five idiots I want to punch in the neck for having shitty taste who actually care. 

Honestly, how many times do you get to remake a movie that sucks?  10 years from now, am I gonna pass a marquee that says Hairspray 6: We Promise You Don't Have to Like the Way Cock Tastes to Like This?  I mean, you figured anybody who'd been burned by even the first three just wouldn't trust the title anymore.  

Also, remember when you had to be a nobleman or do something cool to get a title?  Like "Lord Fauntleroy" or "The Earl of Sandwich" (who was cool, but not in Count Nacho Supreme's league). 

Now you just have to be a shitty sequel to a movie nobody cared about anyway whose script wasn't even good enough to get the original actors back, apparently. 

I'm still waiting in vain for the movie adaptation of Lord and Lady Douchebag.


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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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