BEHOLD: THE ULTIMATE STAR WARS RAPE VAN

Senior Editor
11.12.09 81 Comments

Ever since Rooster and Trish, the Neverending Story Van owners and frequent threateners of lawsuits against FilmDrunk, walked out of my life, there’s been a hole in my heart that booze and public masturbation just couldn’t fill.  But they say Jesus works in mysterious ways, and in my search for something that would remind me them, I found this, the quintessential Star Wars-themed rape van.  All other Star Wars rape vans must kneel in the presence of this one.  It may never come close to what Rooster and Trish and I shared, but I did come up with these van-related movie quotes:

“Run, kids.  IT’S A TRAP!”

“Game over, van, game over!”

“Now DAT’S how you sposta rape van!”

[via F-ckYeahRapeVans]

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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