While “Hell Ride” isn’t the same kind of crazy train crash as writer/director Larry Bishop’s last film, “Mad Dog Time,” I’m not sure I’d call it good in any conventional sense. It’s ridiculous. It’s smothered in style. It is replete with an almost absurd amount of nudity. It’s nonstop tough guy attitude by a bunch of guys who look to be alternately peaking and tweaking on an ice cream truck full of cheap drugs.
Basically, it’s a revenge story packed with double-and-triple crosses that only make sense in this bizarro senseless landscape of Bishop’s. I reviewed the Austrailian biker film “Stone” a few days ago, and I remarked how authentic and grimy it was. “Hell Ride” is pretty much the exact opposite, completely artificial, a bunch of Hollywood guys in love with the idea of being tough. Eric Balfour, Michael Madsen, Dennis Hopper (who seems to need a sidecar to stay upright on a bike these days), along with Vinnie Jones, who I’m sure could beat me silly in a bar but who continues to be sort of a nothing onscreen. There may be a role where he would really shine, but no one’s figured it out yet.
The best thing I can say about the movie is that I didn’t mind watching it. But the whole thing left no impression overall, and it seems like an unfortunate waste of energy.