Recap: ‘Project Runway’ – ‘What a Woman Wants’

09.11.09 8 years ago


Okay, let me start by saying that I’m leaning toward “over it” when it comes to Nicolas. Last week’s creepy porn star lace chaps were bad enough, but then he has the brass ones this week to regally announce to his flatmates that it’s time to weed out the talentless people. Uh, okay Lacey sans Cagney, someone’s a wee bit overconfident, since it was your crap idea that landed you in the bottom three last week. But hey, he’s only one of the designers working my last nerve this week.

[Full recap of Thursday (Sept. 10) night’s “Project Runway” after the break…]

Before we even get down to business, the Epperson/Qristyl feud continues in its own irritating, passive-aggressive way. Epperson is really hoping to end up in the top three to make the point that it was his partner who dragged him down, after which I’m supposing he’ll rub her face in his latest design and possibly strangle her with it, while Qristyl worries that everyone’s going to think she’s a bitch. Which is ironic, because I think she essentially laid down in the middle of the workroom and invited Epperson to run her over like a rider lawnmower, but whatever.

Finally, it’s time for Heidi to announce the next challenge, which is for the designers to make dresses for the mysterious 13 women waiting for them in the workroom. Nicolas points out those 13 women could be anyone ranging from homeless people to Eskimos, and I think he’s just named next week’s challenge! Homeless Eskimos! Hard to cast, but so worth it.

But sadly, the challenge is admittedly a little anticlimactic, as it’s revealed that the designers are just going to be dressing their own models for an industry event. Yawn. Johnny points out that this is a pretty simple challenge, and really, it should be unless a few of the models are secret Wal-Mart junkies or are totally batcrap crazy. Well, maybe that’s not such a leap. Models smoke a lot and don’t eat, so they could be a little loopy.

And yes, while the vast majority seems easygoing, since they’re used to wearing black lipstick, monster heels and ridiculous couture on a regular basis, there are a few tacky Tinas in the mix. Shirin discovers her model wants a royal blue satin jumpsuit, which sounds very “Dance Fever” but could be hugely funny, though probably not a good thing to wear to an industry event. Unless the industry event is taking place at Vivid Films or a BeeGees fan club shindig.  

Then, it’s off to Mood with 100 bucks. Not a lot of drama there, although Epperson decides to defy his model’s request for orange and opts for brown. Oops, sorry, I think I just nodded off for a minute. This challenge is just way too dull. Maybe they should’ve gotten the models hopped up on horse tranquilizers and Red Bull, then taken their requests, because that would have been interesting. Actually, I’m still sad it wasn’t homeless Eskimos. I’m really thinking so many other things would have been better than dressing the models, like dressing random people on the streets of downtown Los Angeles or one another or maybe tiny Barbie dolls or ANYTHING ANYTHING, oh ma God, I’m so bored. Seriously, I’m wishing I could do the dishes right now, because I’m that bored. And I usually love PR, no joke.

Back at the FIDM workroom, everyone mulls over how sad it is that people are being sent home. As if they didn’t expect that to happen. Swear to God, these designers need caffeine or maybe it’s time for Johnny to get back on the meth, but this is just so painfully boring. No one’s fighting, no one’s complaining, everyone’s quiet and focused and dull, dull, dull. Tim Gunn, save me!

And thankfully, it’s time for Tim to walk around, hold his chin and nod. I’m so relieved. Tim likes Althea’s black gown and thinks it has a wow factor. He thinks Christopher’s puke-colored green dress is a bold color, which I think is his euphemism for pukey. He thinks Epperson’s dress is innovative and chic, but thinks Qristyl’s dress looks like the model’s been rolling around in bed and he’s so not impressed. So, we can see who the likely winner of the Qristyl/Epperson battle is, though we probably should have figured that out based on Qristyl’s creative spelling problem. Logan fears he’s making a Smurf prom dress and Tim thinks he has a conundrum. Tim fears Carol Hannah’s purple one-shoulder dress will rob the model of her youth, which is interesting because I thought the smoking and starving and partying would do that a lot faster than one ugly dress. But Tim is excited by all the potential in the room, and everyone is just thrilled.

Oh, I get it, this is the boring AND drippy episode, because now we have to watch Epperson call his wife and kids and get all mushy. This is just as fascinating as when a co-worker calls their kids and makes kissy-face sounds over the phone at work and you can’t drown it out no matter how much it makes you want to sick up. Yeah, just like that.

Finally, the models come in. Epperson shows his model her dress, and all his fears about ditching the orange were for naught because she loves the dress. Great, the one opportunity for drama, pfft. Johnny starts to get a litt
le neurotic, telling his model he knows she doesn’t like her dress, which forces her to say she loves it, but you can pretty much tell she doesn’t. I mean, she’s a model, not a model-actress. Nicolas says he’s a complete wreck, but I’m not sure I believe him since he’s 85 percent done.

It’s the next day, and Johnny is watching Logan get dressed and he’s clearly enjoying the view a little too much, which makes me feel dirty just by association. Qristyl is feeling nervous, but she’s sure she can pull it out. I’m not so sure, since she’s one for three at this point, but she’s doing a basic black dress so at least her tendency for tacky prints is being held in check.

And finally, finally it starts getting good and catty up in the workroom. Althea loves her outfit. Irina, however, thinks it looks like crap that would have looked better had it been stapled together. Meow! Then Nicolas makes his picks for bottom two and chooses Epperson (because his dress looks like a rag) and Johnny (because it looks like someone stomped it or put it in a dryer). Christopher says the judges will love or hate Epperson’s dress, but he gets it so it must be okay.

Time for the runway! Guest judges include Marc Bouwer, Marie Claire editor Zoe Glassner and designer/stylist Jennifer Rade.


Boring black dress. I mean, just totally boring.


Love this dress with its high pleated collar and V-neck back


This is a cute dress with a deconstructed belted peplum jacket. It’s not a showstopper, but it’s nice enough.


A sleek bronze satin minidress with a woven front detail. Not bad.


I guess the royal blue disco pantsuit got the boot, and the minidress the model got instead is, I’m pretty sure, a much better choice. A woven back detail gives it a kick.


Okay, now I can’t help but think of this as the Smurf dress. A little promish. And, of course, Smurfish.


Okay, the pukey green actually looks perfect on this girl.


I do like the deconstructed rag dress. So Nicolas can suck it.


Well, Nicolas may have had it right on this one. Love the purple color, hate the fact she looks like she rolled around on the floor in it.


Very cute suit, but I’m a little distracted by the fact the model isn’t wearing a bra.


The big, ruffled neckline is a statement, but the rest of the dress is understated and this model can pull it off.


Speaking of big statements, why didn’t we see this crazy ass flower detail before? You know how you’re not supposed to eat anything bigger than your head? I don’t think you should have a flower bigger than your head right beneath your head, because it makes your head look small. But he’s got immunity, what does he care?

Carol Hannah

An asymmetrical tank top and a pencil skirt with a really interesting embossed fabric. Tres chic.

Louise, Irina, Christopher, Nicolas, Gordana, Shirin and Ra’mon all make it through.

That leaves Qristyl, Epperson, Johnny, Logan, Althea and Carol Hannah.

Carol Hannah

Mark Bower loves this. Zoe thinks it’s sophisticated without being stuffy. Jennifer thinks it’s very cool.


Zoe and Heidi thought prom. Jennifer thinks he should have made a pencil skirt, but she also thinks he’s really cute. So, that should save him until next week. Or get him a date.


Marc loved it and understands the difficulty in making it. Heidi thinks she looks sexy but thinks she needs a bra. Jennifer says Epperson is a unique and different designer and it’s a job well done.


Jennifer thinks the best thing about it is the purse. Heidi thinks it is so bridesmaid. Zoe thinks it’s wearable, but that’s not a good thing.


Heidi thinks the model was aged 10, 15 years, which in the model world is “like dog years.” Jennifer can’t understand why she picked the plain black jersey. I agree, it sucks. Jennifer basically calls the model stupid for liking it, which makes me hope she doesn’t come back as a guest judge.


Heidi thought it was chic. Jennifer wanted to buy it. Zoe wants it, too. Maybe they’ll fight for it. Now, that would add some pep to an otherwise boring episde!

Marc is amazed that Qristyl made a basic black dress look cheap. Heidi thinks the model looked like she should be serving drinks. Jennifer thinks Logan got too sucked in by what his model wanted, which suggests he has no spine and he’d be her perfect boyfriend. Marc thought Johnny’s dress was too safe.

On the bright side, Jennifer thought Althea’s dress was a huge hit, Heidi thought Carol Hannah’s dress was sexy and Marc thought the outfit moved beautifully. Marc was impressed by Epperson, but then Heidi started fixating on her boobs.

I am so thinking Qristyl is out. Which would be great, because I hate typing that crazy ass name of hers.

Epperson is in. Althea is… the winner! I liked Carol Hannah’s outfit better, but whatever.

Johnny is… in. It’s down to Logan and Qristyl. And Qristyl is…outta here!

Now it’s time for her to pack her scissors and her tacky fabrics and go, which is only sad in that she seems like a nice person. Even if she’s a little delusional, in that she thinks she’s a great designer. For crazy people and the color blind, sure, but the rest of us, not so much.

Do you think Althea deserved to win? Did you think Qristyl’s black dress looked cheap? And what was going on between Jennifer and Logan?

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