Hitch up your coveralls and whip out yo fangs, it”s another episode of True Blood, y”all. When we last left our cast, Sookie was screaming, because she”s Sookie, and Vampire Bill was brooding, on account of how he”s Vampire Bill, and everybody was in the hospital, because Bill done chewed on Sookie”s neck in a manner unbecoming to a southern gentleman.
In the hospital room, Sookie doesn”t know if she can forgive Bill for sucking on her like he did, and possibly taking her “light” in the process. They both cry. Vampire Bill cries because he cannot lie in the sun with Sookie; Sookie cries because she and Bill just cannot manage to have a good time despite being on a cool show like “True Blood.” Finally, Vampire Bill takes his vampire leave. Before, it was over between them, but now, it”s like OVER over.
[Full recap of Sunday’s (Aug. 8) “True Blood” after the break…]
Meanwhile, Sophie Ann and her entourage have arrived at the Mississippi king”s mansion, also known as Lifestyles of the Dead and Famous. Russell spills to Talbot that he, well, maybe, kind of killed the magister. Talbot goes paler than he already is and gets understandably upset.
Hot Eric interrupts their marital spat to announce that “there is a were-bitch” in the king”s study. It”s Debbie, of course, and her grief over Cooter is making her look more like roadkill than ever. She wants revenge on Sookie. Get in line, honey.
Terry Bellefleur is singing to his unborn child, and it”s very sweet, until Arlene has a flashback that Rene is actually singing to her instead. Poor Arlene. Can”t catch a break, having a serial killer baby and all.
Back in Bon Temps, Vampire Bill is trying to rid himself of any mentor-like obligations he may have to Jessica. He tries to release Jessica, as her maker, but it doesn”t work. Jessica needs guidance. She totally drained someone because Vampire Bill was off on his own capers and not teaching Jessica the proper way to feed, and it”s his fault, and he has responsibilities, dag-gum it.
Sookie, meanwhile, is also back in Bon Temps, and offering Hot Alcide a place to stay. She and Alcide have a moment; well played, Sookie, well played. Andy Bellefleur and quasi-cop Jason Stackhouse arrive and offer to bring the long arm of the law down on Vampire Bill for nearly killing Sookie, but Sookie declines.
Sookie also, via mind-meld, finally gets wind of the secret that Jason and Andy are carrying, but Jason manages to dodge the subject and speed off.
Tara, for her part, is trying to recover from her harrowing time with Franklin, with the help of her cousin, who has taken her in. Almost becoming a vampire bride has made Tara realize she does not have a death wish, and would rather live. Lafayette”s mom arrives on his front porch, having ex-caped the loony bin to help fend off a vampire invasion that”s going on in her head.
Oh, hi, Shape-Shiftin Sam. There”s a bitch at the door, and it”s your mom. That”s not an insult or nothing; she really is a dog. Mom has come to try to make amends with Sam and Tommy over the whole dog-fighting mess. The mom also asks for money, and Sam gives it to her before she leaves. Tommy is real tore up. Literally.
Oh, no! Someone has been beating up on that nice sweet girl with the perfect cube for a head, and she had to jump in a lake or something to head off some pack of attackers she won”t name! She manages to show up at Jason”s place, begging for his truck, but Jason refuses and instead plies her with questions. (Apparently cube head girl has been promised to the meth dealer dude since she was a child, but she has now dumped him, which is nice. Vegas is split over whether cube head is a nymph, a fairy, or a witch. Or maybe a jackalope. There hasn”t been one of those yet. She”s so totally a jackalope.)
Over at Merlotte”s, a new waitress named Holly has arrived. She seems to psychically know that Arlene is preggers. Tommy sees Tara working behind the bar and thinks she”s hot, but Sam warns him off of her because she”s going through some stuff. Then Tommy saunters over to Hoyt and tries to stir up a fight over Jessica, and Sam has to break it up. Sam urges Tommy to think about college instead, but they don”t have a canine behavior major at University of Bon Temps.
Jesus shows up at Lafayette”s place to pick up his ex-caped patient. At first, Lafayette”s mom refuses to go back to mental ward and brandishes a knife, but she calms down after Jesus promises to not let anything happen to her son. Apparently, Lafayette is “powerful,” which, in Bon Temps, means something magical. Maybe HE”s the jackalope.
Back at Russell”s cupola-crowned mansion, Eric collars Hadley and orders her to take a message to Sookie. And speaking of Sookie, whoa, she and Alcide almost kiss. Well played again, Sookie. Still, she”s having a hard time getting over Bill, and it”s real sad, until Hadley shows up with that message. The message is this: Russell is coming for you. Oh, wait, that”s wrong: RUSSELL IS COMIN” FOR YOU. And they”re gonna do horrible things. Run. Run!
But that”s not the only intrigue at Russell”s mansion. Talbot is throwing a fit over Russell”s feckless ways, tossing and breaking the ancient items that Russell so loves. When Talbot almost destroys Eric”s Viking crown. Eric rescues it — much to the intrigue of Russell — and tries to cover his motives by offering to romance Talbot.
Over at Merlotte”s, a couple of clearly supernatural men of some stripe — more jackalopes? Could be? — show up, looking for Crystal. One of the hinky men claims to be Crystal”s father.
Crystal isn”t there, of course, because she”s just been lovemakin” with Jason. Jason hears her stomach growl and offers to go get some food. But he also brings his gun with him when he leaves. Jason, being Jason, of course really wants to fill the meth dealer with buckshot. He heads over to the meth dealer”s shack, where, to his horror, he discovers a hayseed eating a raw deer. Crystal”s father shows up, and Jason threatens him before leaving.
Jesus is convinced that Lafayette has some sort of power, or energy, that can go dark if he keeps dealing V. Jesus almost leaves after stating this fact, but he and Lafayette get it on instead. Speaking of getting it on, Eric is flirting with Talbot over a very suggestive game of chess. Talbot, who has great taste, orders Eric to get naked forthwith. They make out awkwardly for a while.
Back at Sookie”s, vengeful Debbie arrives with two other werewolves, just as Vampire Bill and Jessica show up to defend her. Debbie kicks down the door. Girlfight! Bitch fight! Whatever you call it when a were-groupie and a girl who can read minds start beating each other up!
Uh-oh. Russell is here, too, and he grabs Jessica before literally throwing her to the wolves. Then Russell and Vampire Bill go muerto a muerto. As we keep hearing, Russell is 3,000 years old, so this can”t be good. Things look particularly dire until, back at the king”s mansion, Eric betrays Talbot in the middle of their awkward lovemaking, and stakes him. Russell senses it and runs away.
Bill returns to Sookie and they make up, in a big way. As we fade out on this episode of True Blood, Bill and Sookie have crazy bloody makeup sex while, somewhere out in nature, Jessica feasts on a werewolf.
What’d y’all think of “Night on the Sun”?