Canada Thinks Listening To Nickelback Should Be A Punishment For Drunk Drivers

11.29.16 2 weeks ago 3 Comments

While we’ve been busy losing our minds and imagining America as a big-budget, post-apocalyptic television event, Canada continues to be the well-loved, non-prestige sitcom of countries. Just over a week after Fartgate, the country is getting all whimsical again. Police in a small town on Prince Edward Island have figured out a novel — and somewhat patriotic — way to punish drunk drivers. They’re going to make them listen to Nickelback on the way to the station.

The Kensington Police Service revealed their plan to share Canada’s least-loved export with inebriated drivers on a post to their Facebook page:

“Kensington Police Drinking and Driving Gift. Christmas Bonus Edition

So, the Holiday Season is upon us and that means more social events, staff parties and alcohol based libations. Now, Because of that fact, it logically means more people need to plan their nights driving duties. To save any problems at the end of the night, know ahead of time who is the Designated Driver. Write down the number to a cab company or plan to stay over at friends. Anything and everything you can do to eliminate the chances of drinking and driving.

Now, with that being said, know that the Kensington Police Service will be out for the remainder of year looking for those dumb enough to feel they can drink and drive. And when we catch you, and we will catch you, on top of a hefty fine, a criminal charge and a years driving suspension we will also provide you with a bonus gift of playing the offices copy of Nickelback in the cruiser on the way to jail.

Now, now, no need to thank us, we figure if you are foolish enough to get behind the wheel after drinking then a little Chad Kroeger and the boys is the perfect gift for you.

So please, lets not ruin a perfectly good unopened copy of Nickelback. You don’t drink and drive and we won’t make you listen to it.

Happy Saturday Everyone!!”

They have an unopened cassette copy of the group’s breakthrough album Silver Side Up and they aren’t afraid to use it. It all seems a bit goofy, but what do you expect from a country where this is how they break up rowdy St. Patrick’s Day parties?

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