Rumors of Ted Cruz being the Zodiac Killer might just be a bit of fun the Internet is having these days, but another option has appeared. If you travel back to the height of hair metal in the 1980s, you’ll come upon a strange anomaly among the bands singing about partying, strippers, and Lucifer. You’ll come upon Stryper, a Christian hair metal band that actually came upon some popularity during their age and a little bit of respect. Picture Creed, but with bumblebee colors and wild hair.
Then while you’re at it, picture Ted Cruz as the lead singer. It isn’t too hard, just look:
That’s right, Ted Cruz and Stryper front man Michael Sweet look eerily similar. It’s like Ted Cruz traveled back after losing this election, slapped on a few layers of makeup and let his hair grow out in order to lead the greatest Christian metal band of the ’80s. Frightening stuff.