CHRIS SIMMS ISN'T A DOUCHEBAG?
Killer Willard

BARRY ZITO’S STAYING IN THE BAY AREA

By / 12.28.06

Alternative headline for this post: THE GIANTS ARE FINANCIAL GENIUSES. Even though any baseball fan/analyst can tell you that any kind of contract for a pitcher longer than four years is generally foolhardy, the Giants know what the fuck they're doing: they signed possibly-on-the-downslope curveballer Barry Zito for seven years and $126 million. It's the largest deal ever for a pitcher, and the math works out to about $18M a year, with incentives if he continues to play the guitar and nail B-list tramps like Alyssa Milano.*

I don't really have much to say about this deal. I mean, I guess it could work out for San Francisco. On the other hand, the Giants are paying Barry Bonds something like $14 million this year, so I'm not going to give them too much credit.

The important thing to focus on here is that Zito once dated Alyssa Milano. Or maybe he was just photographed with her, I don't know. Whatever. Who didn't want her to become exactly what she became after watching her in Who's the Boss? I think you know I'm talkin' about Embrace of the Vampire (link NSFW). Those were the golden days, my friends.

*I probably made that up.


TAGSBARRY ZITOMLBSAN FRANCISCO GIANTS

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