That's Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals for all of you non-hockey fans, so that's all but three of you. Anaheim Ducks defenseman Chris Pronger will miss the next game for striking Ottawa Senators forward Dean McAmmond in the head with his forearm:
It is the sixth career NHL suspension for the 6-foot-6, 220-pound, hard-hitting All-Star and the second in these playoffs. "It was just a reaction play. I just stepped up to make a hit," Pronger told reporters.
That's exactly what I told the cops when I set fire to my ex-girlfriend's house. Apparently "reaction play to a cheating slut" is not an acceptable reason for arson. The Senators believe the hit was deliberate:
"It's no doubt that he did this on purpose," said Senators general manager John Muckler. "Unfortunately, we have a player that is injured and has a concussion. And it's doubtful whether he'll be able to play on Monday. Hopefully he will. We just have to move forward."
Wait, McAmmond was knocked the fuck out?
[NHL disciplinarian Colin] Campbell said he had "no doubt" McAmmond was knocked out on the ice.
And that's four KOs today, sexy readers! I've fulfilled my quota for stories of unconsciousness – have a great week! -KD