Gisele allegedly said she would run naked through midtown Manhattan if the Giants beat her boyfriend's Patriots in the Super Bowl, but now she's…so hold on, like naked naked? She could wear running shoes, right? I mean, there's like glass and shit in the street, and that concrete can be really bad for your knees…anyway, she's re-neging.
"It was a mistake and I'm sorry I said it. I don't know what I could have been thinking — Midtown Manhattan is a parking lot any time of day or night. It'd take 30 minutes just to make it from the Theater District to 34th Street. And what if I ran into the Naked Cowboy and had to pose for pictures with every out-of-town Tom, Dick and Harry? Tack on another 30 minutes, easily. How 'bout I simply flashed my breasts from a billboard in Times Square and call it a day … will that work?"
Listen, lady, everybody pays. We'd hate to send Big Louie over to bust your kneecaps. Those sexy, sensual kneecaps. It's probably for the best. If people are urinating in the streets of New York City now, what would they do when a naked Gisele ran by? Probably whip it out and start beating off right then and there. No, sorry, that was a rhetorical question.
- Monday Morning Punter