David Ortiz Is Campaigning for Your Vote

09.22.06 11 years ago

David Ortiz launched HRs #51 and 52 in the Red Sox' 6-0 victory over the Twins last night, breaking Jimmie Foxx's 68-year-old team record and reigniting the AL MVP debate. For example, were you aware that some people believe he's less of a viable candidate because he's a DH, or because the Red Sox are going to miss the playoffs? It's true, some people feel that way. You might have missed that if this is your first time ever using the Internet and you've never heard of ESPN.

If I were a congressman, the first thing I'd do today after having sex with one of my leggy interns is introduce legislation that requires anyone who argues about the MVP for longer than 60 seconds to be struck in the ribs with an aluminum bat. But then I'd have to leave New York, and it's so hard to find good leggy interns with loose morals these days.

To me, the real story is Josh Beckett going 8 innings without allowing a run. That guy serves up grand slams like Denny's. 

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