Hulk Hogan’s Wedding Sounded Fun

Hulk “Terry Bollea” Hogan married his girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel on Tuesday night at his home in Clearwater, Florida. And really, if you want to have a wedding that defines perfection, you really can’t go wrong with Clearwater, the city that gave us Hooters. But all was not peaceful and picturesque for Hogan and his new bride, as the Hulkster’s security team apparently got rough with a paparazzo that was taking pictures from 200 feet away, while standing in the ocean. No names were mentioned, but I’ve got $20 that says Brian Knobbs was involved.

And of course the photog in question wants to file charges and sue Hogan for physical, financial and emotional distress. I really hope that when the gates of hell open and Satan reigns over the sinners that he uses the paparazzi as toilet paper. But at least the 57-year old Hogan had a beautiful second wedding with his 35-year old new wife. That’s right, a 22-year difference. Hulk’s still my hero.

Whatcha gonna do, Your Tango, when Hulk’s saggy skin runs wild on you…

Presiding over the ceremony was “The Secret” guru Michael Beckwith, who acts as Hogan’s trusted spiritual advisor. The intimate event was the culmination of two lovey-dovey years of dating, as the couple met in November 2008 and Hogan proposed last December.

Picture perfect, right? All until ambitious paparazzo Robert Martinez tried to crash the party and was swiftly attacked by family friend Ron Howard, who was acting as security guard for the festivities. Martinez retaliated by saying he was “packing a gun” and the cops were called to break up the altercation.

It must be nice to know that people consider your profession so despicable that you have to carry a gun for protection. Martinez finds himself in the same company as drug dealers and Delonte West.

Meanwhile, Hulk’s ex-wife Linda is planning to marry her 20-year old boyfriend Charlie Hill, who she met through her prison bitch son Nick. Really, the only thing this story is missing is a case of High Life.

Take a look back through the Hogan family photo album for some additional Americana…

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If ever there were a true portrait of the American family, it is this. They displayed their love for the world on VH1’s Hogan Knows Best, but then it all fell apart. Some say the divorce of Hulk and Linda may have been caused by their son Nick’s car accident that left a family friend brain dead. Others say it was sparked by Hogan’s endless womanizing and philandering. Either way, Linda has taken Hulk to the cleaners financially, but they still haven’t settled over the control of the bronzer and bleach.

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Again, they always seemed so happy with each other at home and in public. The Hogans always appeared to be a family built on love, mutual respect, atrocious hair, and breast implants. Forget the Kennedys, this was the real Camelot.

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