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CATHERINE ZETA JONES HAS BOYLES

SUSAN BOYLE IS SO SCREWED

By / 04.29.09

Tired of watching random performances from “Britain’s Got Talent”?  Me too.  But too bad.  YOU MUST WATCH THIS TO MAINTAIN YOUR POP CULTURE LITERACY.

So here’s 10-year-old Hollie Steel.  Look, she’s a ballerina!  And so cute!  And she sings like a rare and beautiful songbird with perfect teeth that very obviously will never go through that gawky awkward period in middle school when everyone has acne and the cool kids already know what an orgasm is.

In case it isn’t clear, I kind of hate this little girl.  She didn’t do anything wrong; I’m just still a little bitter about having her voice when I was fourteen.


TAGSBRITAIN'S GOT TALENT

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