Bones (Fox) — The series celebrates its one hundredth episode. Emily Deschanel is hotter than Zooey. Also, for the girls and Whedonites out there, Nathan Fillion is superior to David Boreanaz.
The Marriage Ref (NBC) — Tonight’s panel features Kathy Griffin, Tracy Morgan, and Nathan Lane. Let’s say, hypothetically, that the studio burned down and everyone inside died. Would it be worth losing Tracy Morgan to get rid of Kathy Griffin? Again: hypothetically. Oh, this flamethrower? I just wear it because it’s comfortable.
Project Runway (Lifetime) — Tonight’s challenge has a circus theme. One of my favorite cheap laughs is whenever I see a clown in real life, I lean over to whomever I’m with and say, “Check out this clown.”
Models of the Runway (Lifetime) — What other kind of models would they be? Models of the Security Checkpoint? Models of the Airport Bar?
Survivor (CBS) — Hey, try not to kill anyone, okay?
Modern Marvels (History) — Soft drinks. Really? Soft drinks are a modern marvel? “HOLY CRAP, HOW DID THESE BUBBLES GET IN HERE?”
Real Housewives of New York City (Bravo) — Bethenny and Ramona have an argument while walking across the Brooklyn Bridge. I’ve got an easy solution to that. *holds up two cement blocks and a length of rope*