Hard Knocks (HBO) — With “Top Chef” having a less-than-stellar season, this is now officially the best thing on Wednesday nights. And by “officially” I mean “in my opinion.” Be sure to join the live-blog party over at Kissing Suzy Kolber tonight.
Plain Jane (The CW) — For those saddled with loved ones who don’t enjoy the NFL, this may be a more viable viewing option. But Louise Roe is no Rex Ryan.
Man vs. Wild (Discovery) — Bear gets injured in the Rockies and rushed to the hospital. Score one for Wild.
American Greed: Madoff Behind Bars (CNBC) — A look at Bernie Madoff’s life in jail. I dunno, unless they have footage of him getting raped with a morning star, I doubt it will have the desired amount of schadenfreude.
Big Brother 12 (CBS) — Millions and millions of Americans watch this every week. I don’t know a single one of them.
Man vs. Food (Travel) — Tonight, Adam takes up a challenge on New Jersey’s Long Beach Island, which — I swear this is true — is actually quite lovely and relatively Guido-free. It’s also being swallowed up by the ocean, so maybe we can encourage more Guidos to go there.